Anxiety and me where I am now

[animegirl4ever]

Hello people of AF (anxiety forums)

I'm new here so I apologize if this is in the wrong category but I deiced to give out my story of what's going on with me right now


I am a 21 (going on 22) year old Catholic woman who has had anxiety for a while although I haven't been diagnosed in anyway. I dropped out of college since it was causing me to be depressed I thought I'd go back this year but it never happened. LAtely what's been happing is seeing things that arn't there (at night), anxiety over my eating habits and I'm a hypochondria my boyfriend also suggested I may be a religous hypochondria of sorts.
My grandfather isn't doing well causing a rift and a fight on my moms side of the family my mom works alot and I don't drive my mom is swamped with work and the family matters finding me a psychologist was on the list back when I was in college but was pushed back my mom remembered the idea recently but it seems to have been pushed back again I don't want to be a burden and I feel often that I am. At times I've felt unmotivated, useless, and like I'd be better off somewhere else.

Other then my family Church and my faith have been a cause for anxiety lately we lost our priest some time last year getting a new one the anxiety and stress started after he got a sound system to play music he played it loudly and it vibrated the floor thankfully this has gone down however I did have an anxiety attack during mass combined with a new worry of getting hungry or rather low blood sugar doing church this fear makes sunday mornings very stressful. I never thought it would happen but I'm slowly questioning my faith but also trying to live it how I want I've been having probomls struggling over my budding sexual awaking combind with how it fairs with my relgion and its part of what is causing me anxiety (Not the boyfriend not at all)

Not having a doctor (I've been going to my pediatrician up till now) as well as no dental insurance also is not helping I had a full fledged panic attack when I had to go talk to a wisdom tooth doctor (whom told us he couldn't work on me) that was the first time I ever had a panic attack but I panic any time the subject is brought up currently I'm in no pain from them (other then when I'm hungry) so my mom is pushing it off till a later time when I can handle it better. Also I have six fillings I still have to get done so now I'm worried when I eat well anything I normally eat because I don't want the cavities to get worse

1. Family
2. Sex and my religious views
3. Health

The anxiety and depression only got this bad this year not being able to see friends much and being put down by my parents didn't help. I'm hoping someone or more then one can help me on this site I only have two people for support My boyfriend and my Best guy friend but I don't want to be a burden on them which it feels like I am at times

So that is my story

[cbrownn91]

Sounds to me like a lot of your anxiety it stemmed from your beliefs and all that's going on in your life right now. Take it from me, it's good you're reaching out now rather than letting it take control before you do like I did. Anyway, some stress management would help a lot with the family issues, just learning some emotion discipline and being positive about more things (Which you can use your religion for help with that as I have with mine) will help a lot also. As for your personal issues and religious beliefs clashing, that's something you yourself can only solve. You're going to have to look deep down and make that decision on how to resolve that, none of us can help, only you. Hope this helps a bit, good luck! And remember, you're never alone in this!

[SunnieDebris]

Wow, you've got a lot on your plate. I know you're worried about being a burden, but getting you to a psychologist seems paramount to me. Maybe you could help your mother in some way, such as cleaning or cooking, so that you can trade that time to see a therapist. You need to be eating regularly, or you can hurt your heart, among other things. That's why going to a therapist is so important. If you had appendicitis, you would need to be booked for surgery. You have a thinking problem, so you need to be booked to see a therapist. You may find it beneficial to journal your thoughts and feelings, especially when it comes to your sexuality and faith. Just remember, sins are forgivable. I hope this helps.

[animegirl4ever]

At this point I'd do it anything to get the help. Thing is the computer at home is dead other then my laptop we live in a remote area were everything is hours away and thats not an excuse or me trying to fight back becuse I'm not I'm really not I'm tiered of fighting and just want so peace and happiness that will last longer then a three day anime convention. And yes sins are forgivable... but I don't want being with my boyfriend like "that" to be a sin or to be something I have to feel guilty about (especially if it helps my anxiety but I think I should hold off till I'm able to see him on a more regular basis anyway)

Do you have any suggestions where to look for a therapist/psychologist?

[SunnieDebris]

Not having easy access to a therapist is not an excuse, it's just the reality of where you are right now. I'm not sure where you're living, so I'm not sure about how to find one. Do you have insurance? You could start there by finding out who is covered. You may also be able to find some info. online.

[animegirl4ever]

ouch tough love but your right I guess I'll have to let my mom barrow my laptop (cringe) and do some real research on this and yes health insurance anyway
alright true enough now to get my mom and have a full on conversation that no this can't be put off any longer I need Help NOW... well not now(being december) but in january at least no later then january

[SunnieDebris]

Good for you! Being your own advocate is hard work. Good luck to you.

[AceParadox]

I, also, wish you the best of luck. I hope you find the right path of treatment for you :]
Once you get on that path, the real battle begins, but you'll find strength!