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Canthinkofasn321
12-05-2012, 03:33 AM
I am not a firefighter just yet , still applying . EMT certified and working on an ambulance . I know I can work harder and better if it weren't for anxiety and pure O OCD . Its crazy how I can be thinking of the thoughts my Anxiety brings and still manage to do my job and a high level . I however do not feel happy inside , because I know I am dealing with anxiety and OCD .

I get up every morning wanting to feel better. I mediate going to work. I see a psychologist .

My thoughts are .I feel I am in a dream . I might flip out turn schizo and start hearing things . Death . Prior to my anxiety I lived a exciting life .

My anxiety attack occurred 2 years ago as a result of mild dehydration and heat exhaustion . I felt that I did not have any control over my mind . I knew however that I was experiencing a anxiety attack . I was assisted and slept it off.

Tell today . I cant accept that I am mentally fine .I know deep inside that I am not insane . However I can not stop thinking of what if . I have tried everything . But have not been able to succeed . That is why I am here. For advise . I am afraid I will never be happy if I don't get over this . I fight every day to achieve my goal of living a anxiety free life and peace of mind .

Any advice / suggestions would be awesome .

Also be advised I do not hear voices , I do not take meds and dont want to . I have seen a Neurologist a psychologist , psychiatrist and a cognitive behavioral therapist . All have told me that I have OCD and GAD