While im here.

[fiendwithoutaface]

I suppose I should tell a bit on what has brought me here. I was in love. Loved him so much. But he had problems. Big problems. Stayed with him by his side, for a few years. Then we had a fight. Barely spoke in days. Then nothing. I'd decided to see what was going on, why I hadn't heard from him. And he had committed suicide. It's pretty much a game changer.

[MillieH]

One of my uncles committed suicide this year, I'm having a tough time with it. At his funeral part of the note he left was read and it was really hard to hear, it sounded like my brother to a t. I'm at a loss for words. I don't talk about it much. Are you seeing a dr or grief counselor?

[fiendwithoutaface]

I'm seeing a therapist now, just finished two months of a CBT program. It's been difficult, and it's complicated it, because I didn't get to go to the funeral... So I feel like a terrible person for it.
Still working on feeling better about it, but it has been difficult to get through, with very little support around me. How about you? Are you seeing a grief counselor?

[MillieH]

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a year and a half, just for medication, but I want to start therapy again. I've held a lot in for a lot of years because I didn't want to burden my family with my depression, but in light of what happened I realized I can't hide it anymore. And please don't feel bad about not attending the funeral. Funerals are for the living, he knows how you feel. That's what I believe.

[fiendwithoutaface]

Well I def think you should seek out a good therapist for yourself... Medication can get you about 50% of the way to where you want to be, but can be much higher, coupled with therapy. I wish you tons of luck!

[jhunter89]

Oh my god.. Reading that has broken my heart :( so sorry for you

[MillieH]

Thank you, and right back at you.

[Azuluis]

A lot in for a lot of years because I didn't want to burden my family with my depression, but in light of what happened I realized I can't hide it anymore.