Having a stressful evening.

[sunnythinks]

Hello, everyone. I've been having a rough time with my health anxiety after a relatively okay moment the other day.

As you might have read in my previous post, I am very seriously afraid of coming down with a horrible illness. I worked myself into a fit yesterday: I felt like I couldn't breathe and was afraid to it. Then, I felt a lump on my back that I couldn't stop messing with. Turns out it's just a harmless birthmark...but I didn't realize that until I scratched at it so much that it it began to bleed...

Today, I woke up feeling a bit better, but my anxiety returned during the day. I don't even know what I'm afraid of anymore. I keep turning things into symptoms of horrible diseases. I keep licking my lips and drying them out, then think they're getting a rash and that I'm going to start bleeding or something...I'm scaring myself, but the thoughts won't leave. What can I do? :(

[SunnieDebris]

I go to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and there is a skill we use, called Wise Mind. It's a combination of rational mind (the one who knows you're not sick) with Emotional Mind (the part that thinks that you're dying). Is there any way you can talk yourself down? You can try to do something to distract yourself from your fears? Watch a movie or talk with someone? You can try to self-soothe with enjoyable experiences, like a bubble bath or listening to music. There's also the half smile, which is just a tiny smile, but sometimes it's enough to lighten your mood. I hope this helps some.

[dazza]

You (we) don't know what we're affraid of anymore because there IS nothing logically to be affraid of.

What you're experiencing is your brain going into a state of fear / panic for no rational reason.
This is exactly what anxiety disorder is!

Fear & panic is a horrible, nerve wracking state to be in - and when triggered out the blue for no apparent reason, you then fear and panic on top of it - causing a PANIC ATTACK.

[sunnythinks]

I guess the worst of this happens at night or when I'm alone. I manage okay during the day, but when I'm by myself I can't stop thinking about getting sick.

I know it's anxiety because when I'm distracted my body doesn't act up. It's only when I'm alone that things get crazy; for example, I woke up this morning hungry, but started worrying about my mouth again. When I ate, my stomach tightened up and didn't feel good, even though I woke up perfectly fine.

I guess I have a lot of meditation to do. I feel like I'm going crazy, and with college finals around the corner, that's not a good thing. :(

[SunnieDebris]

Sunny,

I'm sorry that things are so tough right now. I totally get what you mean about being afraid in the night and alone. I have my wife by my side, but I still have major freak-outs in the night. I feel like my heart will stop beating, or that something that could have happened, but didn't makes me so scared. I don't know why I'm focusing on what didn't happen, but I can't stop obsessing about it. The crazy thing is that I'm in therapy, but it's never seemed like the right time to talk about these thoughts. I also realized that I self-harm. I never thought about it, but peeling the skin off my lips until they are perfectly smooth and bleeding is probably not normal. I see my shrink on Tuesday and I plan to tell her then.