UnusualBoy
11-29-2012, 02:13 AM
At the beginning of my job I was so overwhelmed with all that I had to do speaking to customers being the worst and I was taking a lot of my Xanax to help me cope. A few months in I decided that taking too much Xanax was doing me no good so I quit. I started to feel liberated almost as if I didn't need medication anymore. Well apparently my managers saw some potential in me and they figured I would be a great candidate to go out and solicit for them. They wanted me to go to different businesses and tell them about our facility, how great it was and try to get them to book parties. I obliged but inside what they didn't know is that I was scared to death... I hadn't take any Xanax that day I left it at home actually. So I got my car went straight home took it. The first few businesses that I went to were nerve-racking because the Xanax had not kicked in yet. I remember stuttering a few times losing eye contact.. it was just horrible. However after maybe the fourth business I visited things got a little easier I realized all I had to do was smile be polite say my name and give them the information and then I could be on my way. I wasn't sure if that was the Xanax helping me think that way or if it was just me, But anyway long story short I succeeded that day and I thought that maybe it was over I wouldn't have to do this again. I was wrong because after another few months of me stopping my Xanax usage again they asked me to do something different but similar.. Just when I began to like my job I feel like I don't want to work there anymore. This will either make me or break me. I'm scared.