paragone
11-26-2012, 06:36 PM
Hi. I have a problem because I suspect I worry and or fear something that I cannot really seem to grasp. The threat is not very obvious like with social anxiety, phobia, or anxiousness under any types pressures like public speaking or exams. I will start with the onset of my chronic muscle tension, which is what I seek to get rid of.
It was a time where I was in a personal transformation, I was changing my diet, getting myself diagnosed with adhd, and just mainly doing everything in my ability to get my mental and physical well being to a state which I would be confident with. I was very eager to get my memory and learning skills up and going. Nutrition and work outs was all new to me, and I thought I was getting myself on the right track, I was eager to get my life back to say the least. But it all came to an end when I started getting sleeping problems. And I tried to think, read, diet and do anything I could think of to get myself out of it, but I couldn't get myself to sleep properly again. After maybe the first couple of days of insomnia I got really mad and frustrated and I developed muscle tension I have had ever since, with few occasional releases. Now there is something that is making me anxious like an unknown threat, but what part of my thoughts or outlook on life that is the threat making me tense both in muscles and mind I'm unaware of, and I need to find it to be able to desensitize myself from it.
My sleep is all good now, but I think the threat is still present.
Now I might have some clues. I once lost my tension once I saw myself and my every move as just ridiculous and funny, imagining myself and observing my inner dialogue was just like anxious behavior taken out of a movie. If I was my non anxious me I would have laughed at myself I thought. But as soon as this perception of myself ended all returned to tension. I think the tension came back when I was starting to worry that this tension free me would end.
Also whenever I get a really confident feeling like I got the answer to my muscle tension, there seems to be a brief time (seconds) of lessened muscle tension.
Now what the fuck is it that I'm anxious about? Anyone have any suggestions?
(I also suffer from OCD, and it might play a role in this but I'm unsure, but the OCD will mainly hook onto things I feel really afraid of like viruses. no rituals)
Thank you!
edit 1:As a little kid I used to be anxious about stuff in general. I would always take precautions or be afraid of certain dangerous situations I didn't feel safe in.
It was a time where I was in a personal transformation, I was changing my diet, getting myself diagnosed with adhd, and just mainly doing everything in my ability to get my mental and physical well being to a state which I would be confident with. I was very eager to get my memory and learning skills up and going. Nutrition and work outs was all new to me, and I thought I was getting myself on the right track, I was eager to get my life back to say the least. But it all came to an end when I started getting sleeping problems. And I tried to think, read, diet and do anything I could think of to get myself out of it, but I couldn't get myself to sleep properly again. After maybe the first couple of days of insomnia I got really mad and frustrated and I developed muscle tension I have had ever since, with few occasional releases. Now there is something that is making me anxious like an unknown threat, but what part of my thoughts or outlook on life that is the threat making me tense both in muscles and mind I'm unaware of, and I need to find it to be able to desensitize myself from it.
My sleep is all good now, but I think the threat is still present.
Now I might have some clues. I once lost my tension once I saw myself and my every move as just ridiculous and funny, imagining myself and observing my inner dialogue was just like anxious behavior taken out of a movie. If I was my non anxious me I would have laughed at myself I thought. But as soon as this perception of myself ended all returned to tension. I think the tension came back when I was starting to worry that this tension free me would end.
Also whenever I get a really confident feeling like I got the answer to my muscle tension, there seems to be a brief time (seconds) of lessened muscle tension.
Now what the fuck is it that I'm anxious about? Anyone have any suggestions?
(I also suffer from OCD, and it might play a role in this but I'm unsure, but the OCD will mainly hook onto things I feel really afraid of like viruses. no rituals)
Thank you!
edit 1:As a little kid I used to be anxious about stuff in general. I would always take precautions or be afraid of certain dangerous situations I didn't feel safe in.