New Member

[sofi123]

Hi everyone, I'm glad to have found this forum as it helps to know (unfortunately) that other people are in the same boat as I am.
I've been going to a conciliar for about 6 weeks now, I'm not prescribed any medication which i dont know is a good thing or not. Upon my first session I was told what I already knew - that I have anxiety. To be honest I think it is all self inflicted as I had my first panic attack after smoking a blunt about 5 months ago. Since then I wouldn't say I've had a fully blown panic attack but have suffered mentally rather than physically. Ive stopped drinking as that seems to set it off really bad. I ended up in A&E about 3 months ago after a night out drinking.

I've looked through the forums here and I seem to have all the symptoms everyone else has from what seems to be the more common ones like heart palpitations, derealization to waking up seeing things in my room.


Last week I had the worst day of my life. I never thought it was possible to feel that way. Sometimes I feel extremely overwhelmed and just wait for something bad to happen.

The thing that annoys me is that I am fully aware that everything that I feel or think about, such as when I think I'm going crazy or feel unreal, is all a symptom of anxiety.

I'm so sick of it and wish my body would cop on. I'm only 20 years old and really enjoyed life and had loads of friends and I can feel that slipping away.

I'm mentally an physically worn out.

Sorry for the long post.
X

[hellopleasedtomeeyou]

hi sofi. first of all, i'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. Secondly, it's great to see that you are making progress by yourself. You have identified one trigger for anxiety (alcohol) and taken steps to remove it from your life. this is a really important step. Keep it up and keep identifying the things that increase your anxiety. based on what you said, it also seems like drug usage has a negative affect on you as well. Are you an addict, or a casual user? perhaps try and eliminate those as well. and keep up the therapy! it will be helpful in the long run and will help you get through those days like today, where things seem harder and tougher then ever before.

also, have you confided in your friends about these issues? I have just opened up to one friend this weekend and it took me so long to work up the courage to do it. Either way, he was very supportive of me and not judgmental or anything. It really felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. perhaps you should consider this as well? if they are true friends, they will accept your problems and be there for your when times get tough.

anyway, i hope my response has helped you out a bit. stay in there and keep up the good work!

[hellopleasedtomeeyou]

No problem and you should not be afraid to speak up on this forum. The good thing about this place is that everybody understands and sympathizes with what you're going through, so you can feel totally honest and free here.

It's good to know that you're not an addict and it sounds like you have stopped taking drugs. Once again, this is a great step because you are aware of something that enhances your anxiety and you have decided not to continue with it.

"I just want to be normal" --> you might as well be my reflection because I feel the same way. I also feel like my anxiety is not among the "worst cases", but still I feel like it is a struggle to make long-term decisions and make a better life for myself. We just have to remember to take it one step at a time. Trying to do too much at once leads itself to all sorts of problems.

you've opened up to people...yet another great step! I also know the feeling that you are losing touch with your friends. And since you are young and still just out of school, you probably haven't realized this but, you will soon find out that most of your friends change depending on the stage of your life. I barely hang out with my friends from high school or university anymore. The challenge is to make new friends that can help you through this point in your life. i know it is easier said than done and it is a bit sad to realize that these friends won't last forever, but the most important thing is you. You need to surround yourself with people who will help you get through this time. If those friends don't do this, well then that is the case and you must accept that. perhaps you can still go out with them, but not drinking. maybe to the cinema or shopping or something? that way you can still hang out with them but not be surrounded by the drink and drugs that make the anxiety worse.