sobieski
11-26-2012, 01:14 AM
Hey all, I'm new to this forum and I am just posting because I need advice to help my boyfriend. This might be a little long so I apologize in advance.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 1 year (anniversary is Dec 6th). He has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but does not see a psychologist for it. Let me sum him up for you.
1. He gets so angry often. To everyone. He can flip out to his mom because there is no food in the house, he screams at his sister when she doesn't respond. When he gets mad, he is so unbelievably stubborn. He can't think clearly and becomes extremely close minded.
2. He cannot multitask at all.
3. He gets frustrated easily.
4. He is very socially awkward. If someone is talking to him, he does not respond sometimes.
5. He has difficulty reading, even just to me. He kind of chokes over himself and his words stumble. & If he is reading something to me, he has to read everything. If I tell him to stop mid-sentence, he ignores me completely and continues reading until he is finished with the whole paragraph.
6. He stresses over a lot of pointless things. Today I was doing paperwork for our club at school. I had opened our club email, Facebook page, and papers. He was next to me doing hw. Out of nowhere he starts asking me all these questions like what am I doing, getting mad, etc. I created a google plus circle for our email and named it "ski club". He became so upset that it wasn't name "Ski and Snowboard Club" and was forcing me to change it (even though I was already doing something different) This is hard to explain but later he told me having everything open like that made him anxious. & the ski club thing was like an OCD type thing.
7. Jumps to conclusions often. Today I said I might be heading to Poland this summer to visit family, and he said we will break up because he knows I will cheat on him (he knows I would never do that)
8. He has an extremely hard time understanding concepts that we are learning in school. He also freezes up on tests, and tends to fail them, even if he studied a lot.
9. gets extremely anxious with anything that has to do with substances.
We have been arguing a lot through out the whole relationship. Due to many reasons, will not bother to go into detail. Recently he has been really upsetting me. I feel like I do so much for him. I cook, clean, do cute little things for him, make him coffee each morning, help him with hw, do his hw, help him save his money, buy him food etc. When he is overwhelmed with anxiety, I am often stuck doing things for him, yet a lot the things I have to do, and then dealing with his anger. I try hard to be patient, but when he has anxiety and anger management issues, it is almost impossible. He thinks a lot about what people think about him. It prevents him from going out and having a good time. I feel like the anxiety makes him incapable of studying or doing homework. Its really hard to deal with because his anxiety makes us argue a lot. I try to calm him down by making him take deep breaths and to clear his mind. I try hard to help, but sometimes he ignores my help and manages to make me angry. IDK, I tried to kind of explain the anxiety side of him. I need advice on how I can help him. I feel like he has anxiety, anger management issues, and even possibly learning issues. What do I do? I love him and I want to see him be more social and less critical of me when I dont do anything wrong. I want to see him be happy and capable of finishing his own work.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 1 year (anniversary is Dec 6th). He has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but does not see a psychologist for it. Let me sum him up for you.
1. He gets so angry often. To everyone. He can flip out to his mom because there is no food in the house, he screams at his sister when she doesn't respond. When he gets mad, he is so unbelievably stubborn. He can't think clearly and becomes extremely close minded.
2. He cannot multitask at all.
3. He gets frustrated easily.
4. He is very socially awkward. If someone is talking to him, he does not respond sometimes.
5. He has difficulty reading, even just to me. He kind of chokes over himself and his words stumble. & If he is reading something to me, he has to read everything. If I tell him to stop mid-sentence, he ignores me completely and continues reading until he is finished with the whole paragraph.
6. He stresses over a lot of pointless things. Today I was doing paperwork for our club at school. I had opened our club email, Facebook page, and papers. He was next to me doing hw. Out of nowhere he starts asking me all these questions like what am I doing, getting mad, etc. I created a google plus circle for our email and named it "ski club". He became so upset that it wasn't name "Ski and Snowboard Club" and was forcing me to change it (even though I was already doing something different) This is hard to explain but later he told me having everything open like that made him anxious. & the ski club thing was like an OCD type thing.
7. Jumps to conclusions often. Today I said I might be heading to Poland this summer to visit family, and he said we will break up because he knows I will cheat on him (he knows I would never do that)
8. He has an extremely hard time understanding concepts that we are learning in school. He also freezes up on tests, and tends to fail them, even if he studied a lot.
9. gets extremely anxious with anything that has to do with substances.
We have been arguing a lot through out the whole relationship. Due to many reasons, will not bother to go into detail. Recently he has been really upsetting me. I feel like I do so much for him. I cook, clean, do cute little things for him, make him coffee each morning, help him with hw, do his hw, help him save his money, buy him food etc. When he is overwhelmed with anxiety, I am often stuck doing things for him, yet a lot the things I have to do, and then dealing with his anger. I try hard to be patient, but when he has anxiety and anger management issues, it is almost impossible. He thinks a lot about what people think about him. It prevents him from going out and having a good time. I feel like the anxiety makes him incapable of studying or doing homework. Its really hard to deal with because his anxiety makes us argue a lot. I try to calm him down by making him take deep breaths and to clear his mind. I try hard to help, but sometimes he ignores my help and manages to make me angry. IDK, I tried to kind of explain the anxiety side of him. I need advice on how I can help him. I feel like he has anxiety, anger management issues, and even possibly learning issues. What do I do? I love him and I want to see him be more social and less critical of me when I dont do anything wrong. I want to see him be happy and capable of finishing his own work.