PDA

View Full Version : Hi...?



ysl
11-24-2012, 07:21 AM
Hi there,
Kind of new to doing this - thought I would give it a go as I have no-one to talk to and a lot of live online support are always busy.
I'm a 22 year old graduate. I have been seeing a psychologist for over a year now regarding my depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder.
I don't have many friends but I do have a couple close friends, one which I have known all my life. But we don't really talk about anything serious like this. Only because I'm the one that always fcks around and can never be taken seriously and I'm very careful of what other people think of me.
My doctor believes I have had anxiety for most my life throughout my childhood as my parents did not expression much love or attention as they needed to. I thought I was fine until I broke up with my ex and started to feel some chest pains. I thought there had to be something wrong with my heart.
My GP told me it was anxiety and gave me a few pamphlets on it and I continued to see her on a weekly basis to see how I was going. I got progressively worse within 3-4 weeks, having urges to hurt myself, crazy thoughts in my head, images of me chucking a psycho for example, I'd be so scared I'd lose control at the doctor's waiting room as I can just imagine what I would do... Or even at night I'd imagine myself bashing my head against the walls so hard they would break.
My GP felt she could not help me in the way that I needed and so referred me to my psychologist.
Throughout the past year and a bit, I have not felt completely happy.
I feel empty everyday and there is not a day that goes by without me planning my death.
I definitely do NOT tell anyone this because its lame. I have these negative thoughts telling me how lame my problems are and that they are not worth other people's time... Well at least you guys don't know who I am so I have the balls to write all this.
I do not have a close relationship with my family as I come from a traditional Asian background where emotions are not very important. I sometimes slip in comments to my mum saying "I wish I were dead" or "I'm going to die early anyway" but she would get very angry at me saying that I am ungrateful and immature. Which is so true...
A lot of people would want what I had... I graduated from an elite school, finished my degree this year, have had a stable job in my field for nearly a year now, and recently got accepted into a Master of law, I live in a waterfront habour view apartment in the city centre, I have people that care for me... Why am I so unhappy?
I once asked my best friend - if you had the choice to live the best life someone could ever live, or just die now which one would you chose? She obviously chose to live.
I explained to her that my answer was different. I believe that no matter how "great" your life is, not living at all will always be better.
Her face kind of dropped after hearing that and asked "what about the people that care about you?"
and my response was that my desire to die is so strong and desperate right now, I'm too selfish to think about others. I felt bad I had to say that to her face...
Anyway, I have been referred to a psychiatrist and have tried different medication for my anxiety/depression but I've been naughty.
Part of me wants to feel normal again
Part of me wants to just keep on with this and hopefully end it off.
I'm quite impatient with medication as it takes a while for me to feel results... However, I need my quick fixes so I will turn to drugs as my "medication".
It's definitely hard to sleep with anxiety on your back every night. I would finally fall asleep then wake up at 2am with crazy chest pains and racing heart.
My psychologist asks me when my last panic attack was
And I told her I didn't know... She seems very shocked and showed me symptoms with pictures and whatnot... I told her that I have these symptoms most of the time but I did not know it was a panic attack. She had told me that I've had so many in the past that now I don't know how to decipher what is normal or not. I have grown a strong relationship with her and she often tells me that some things I tell her breaks her heart... It always confuses me as I thought THIS was normal. I thought I was just living life as I should. I mean I knew I was a little weird (I'm small, pale - allergic to the sun, quiet, very weird sense of humour; my friends would say that my head is not where reality is) but I only recently had a thought in my head that I was fcked up...What do you guys think? I refuse to see the psychiatrist as I feel that seeing too many people about this makes me feel VERY uncomfortable. It took me a month to see the psychologist as I was 'not ready' and took me 6 months to call up the hospital for an appointment. I just felt that i did NOT need that extra help and that i can continue living life like this.
I guess all I need from this support forum is for you guys to keep reminding me that I am sick and I do need all the help I can get... Even right now, I'm thinking - God, there's so many people with much bigger problems such as schitzo and stuff like that, my problems are petty! Please support me.

mw0929
11-24-2012, 02:01 PM
Welcome! If you are looking for support, you came to the right place. Lot's of people here with good advice and even more people that can relate to you. With that being said, don't be afraid to ask for help. Medical professionals are out there to do just that...help you. You are going through too much to do it alone. If you are uncomfortable talking to people in person about this, then maybe this forum can help you vent.

SunnieDebris
11-24-2012, 03:53 PM
ysl,

Hello, and welcome! I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I'd like to tell you that I also have anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder, although your symptoms differ from mine. I'm wondering if your therapist has ever mentioned dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It's pretty much thought of as the best kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. You can google it for some good info. I go to group therapy every Thursday to learn the DBT skills and talk about all of our struggles. It's been wonderful, and better than my once a month therapy, which is also good. I also see a psychiatrist every 3 months. It's a lot of work, and not for the short-term. I have been in therapy for years, but only started DBT about 6 months ago. I honestly don't know if I'd have the motivation to do all this on my own, but my wife also has borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder (used to be called multiple personality disorder), so we both have to be dedicated to therapy, or our marriage would likely suffer greatly.

I'm glad you found your way here! I am sure you will find comfort and support here.

Sunnie

alankay
11-24-2012, 05:38 PM
Ysl, I think you have become so accustomed to living this way, you're afraid or otherwise don't want to change(maybe). I think you deserve to be happy but like many of us would need to work at it. Maybe like me, you are a bit afraid of what you'll end up like with treatment or don't want to relinquish control. Not sure but you deserve better....says me.
I think you should keep seeing the psychologist for sure. I would also consider a psychiatrist but of course you need one that you will have a special rapport with. Trust is every thing. Another option is for your psychologist to work/communicate with your GP on any meds. I would definitely reconsider the psychiatrist though. If you are that unhappy, you deserve better and any recommendations a pdoc would have after carefully going over your history, might help you a great deal if given the time needed. Meds like AD's need time and you should give any AD the time needed. Anyway you found a good place for info/questions, etc, here. PM me any time. Alankay

ysl
11-25-2012, 07:33 AM
Welcome! If you are looking for support, you came to the right place. Lot's of people here with good advice and even more people that can relate to you. With that being said, don't be afraid to ask for help. Medical professionals are out there to do just that...help you. You are going through too much to do it alone. If you are uncomfortable talking to people in person about this, then maybe this forum can help you vent.

You are definitely right regarding going through too much alone!
Thanks for your reply, hope we keep in touch!

ysl
11-25-2012, 07:37 AM
ysl,

Hello, and welcome! I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I'd like to tell you that I also have anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder, although your symptoms differ from mine. I'm wondering if your therapist has ever mentioned dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It's pretty much thought of as the best kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. You can google it for some good info. I go to group therapy every Thursday to learn the DBT skills and talk about all of our struggles. It's been wonderful, and better than my once a month therapy, which is also good. I also see a psychiatrist every 3 months. It's a lot of work, and not for the short-term. I have been in therapy for years, but only started DBT about 6 months ago. I honestly don't know if I'd have the motivation to do all this on my own, but my wife also has borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder (used to be called multiple personality disorder), so we both have to be dedicated to therapy, or our marriage would likely suffer greatly.

I'm glad you found your way here! I am sure you will find comfort and support here.

Sunnie

You are so blessed to have someone beside you to help you and support you! I've recently started dating someone and I am too afraid to let my partner know everything about me as I feel as though I will not be loved as much.
My doctor has indeed told me about some kind of therapy thing and has recommended me going into a "in hospital" recovery bullcrap but seriously, I don't think that is possible because firstly, I have bills to pay, what will I tell my parents, I will be alone the whole time in hospital etc...
It's very hard when you have all this baggage to yourself. So happy that you have someone to share it with though!

mw0929
11-25-2012, 09:11 AM
You are definitely right regarding going through too much alone!
Thanks for your reply, hope we keep in touch!

You're very welcome! I'm on here quite a bit so I'm sure we will! :)