MindlessMumblings
11-24-2012, 03:38 AM
I hate it, it is taking all my willpower not to harm myself in some way. Every day is a mess of emotionless tears or just complete numbness. My emotions swing from depressed and moody to blank, soulless. I sometimes feel that everybody would be better off without me, to me, it feels like I only bring pain and suffering with my 'melancholy' mood. Not that anybody notices. I feel so down and anxious all the time and it's wearing me thin, surely there's a point when I'm going to say enough is enough and just end it. I can't say I've had a hard life, any real die hard contributing factors that could have caused me to feel like this but I did get bullied really badly (at one point I had to have stitches) and that has stuck with me.
I have no self worth whatsoever, I can't find a single good thing about me and my confidence is low as low. I honestly can't see a future for myself, I have never been able to. People like me aren't allowed to be happy. I haven't been diagnosed but I meet all the diagnostic criteria for most major depressions and mood disorders. I also suffer from SAD. I'm sorry if I'm rambling, this is not what I intended to happen, I just need some advice.
I have no self worth whatsoever, I can't find a single good thing about me and my confidence is low as low. I honestly can't see a future for myself, I have never been able to. People like me aren't allowed to be happy. I haven't been diagnosed but I meet all the diagnostic criteria for most major depressions and mood disorders. I also suffer from SAD. I'm sorry if I'm rambling, this is not what I intended to happen, I just need some advice.