girl24
11-23-2012, 02:23 AM
I joined recently after suffering from anxiety and insomnia for a long time. I finally went to my doctor who prescribed Amitriptyline to help with my sleep. It did help and it was helping the anxiety because not sleeping seems to make my anxiety worse. But my boyfriend is a psychiatrist and said he thinks it's strange that they prescribed Amitriptyline first because it's an old antidepressant and isn't used much these days. I went back to see a different GP who said the same as my boyfriend, that Amitriptyline is used for other things these days (bed wetting and other random things). He took me off the Amitriptyline and prescribed 10mg of Citalopram. Since I haven't taken Amitriptyline my sleep is becoming really bad again but I'm finding that I'm not anxious if I can't sleep like I was so maybe the Citalopram is helping? I'm not sure. I have only been taking it a few weeks though so need to give it chance. I have an appointment to see my GP again on the 5th December, he said we'll see how I go this month and decide what to do there.
So, I've felt better, anxiety wise. But I haven't been sleeping. Yesterday I forgot to take my Citalopram (I normally take it before going to work about 8:30am). My GP and boyfriend both said it's best to take it in the morning because it can cause sleep disturbances. I realised when I was at work yesterday that I hadn't taken it which caused anxiety in itself. I spent hours at work thinking that I'm going to die (stupid but felt so real at the time) and that taking Citalopram at 4pm when I got home from work was going to cause me to not sleep and I was going to get so distressed that I was going to kill myself. When I wasn't sleeping before I went to see my GP I was in a really bad way. I spent most nights crying, not wanting to be here anymore and planning to harm myself. I thought all day yesterday that because I was going to take Citalopram later than I have been then I was going to end up feeling like this again.
I took it at 4 anyway. Last night was horrendous though. I know it's probably just coincidence and I caused it to be that way because I was convinced bad things were going to happen. I went to sleep at about 10:30 but then woke up again at midnight feeling very very anxious and having horrible thoughts about wanting to harm myself. By 3am after getting no sleep I was so distressed that I couldn't lay down, got up and had to stand by the window to calm myself down for a bit. Finally got to sleep at 5 this morning but woke up every half hour or so after getting horrible nightmares where I was trapped under a house that had collapsed, no one knew I was there, then another one where I was raped. Now, I've just given up and got up from bed and my chest is burning horribly.
Urgh. I know this is all coincidence. I am already dreading tonight though. I can't go back to where I was a couple of months ago. I'm not sure I can take a few more weeks like that.
Just needed to write this down somewhere, feel like I'm going to explode this morning.
So, I've felt better, anxiety wise. But I haven't been sleeping. Yesterday I forgot to take my Citalopram (I normally take it before going to work about 8:30am). My GP and boyfriend both said it's best to take it in the morning because it can cause sleep disturbances. I realised when I was at work yesterday that I hadn't taken it which caused anxiety in itself. I spent hours at work thinking that I'm going to die (stupid but felt so real at the time) and that taking Citalopram at 4pm when I got home from work was going to cause me to not sleep and I was going to get so distressed that I was going to kill myself. When I wasn't sleeping before I went to see my GP I was in a really bad way. I spent most nights crying, not wanting to be here anymore and planning to harm myself. I thought all day yesterday that because I was going to take Citalopram later than I have been then I was going to end up feeling like this again.
I took it at 4 anyway. Last night was horrendous though. I know it's probably just coincidence and I caused it to be that way because I was convinced bad things were going to happen. I went to sleep at about 10:30 but then woke up again at midnight feeling very very anxious and having horrible thoughts about wanting to harm myself. By 3am after getting no sleep I was so distressed that I couldn't lay down, got up and had to stand by the window to calm myself down for a bit. Finally got to sleep at 5 this morning but woke up every half hour or so after getting horrible nightmares where I was trapped under a house that had collapsed, no one knew I was there, then another one where I was raped. Now, I've just given up and got up from bed and my chest is burning horribly.
Urgh. I know this is all coincidence. I am already dreading tonight though. I can't go back to where I was a couple of months ago. I'm not sure I can take a few more weeks like that.
Just needed to write this down somewhere, feel like I'm going to explode this morning.