Unusual

[Polarexpress]

I find this rather unusual myself...

Im 24, Used to be a very upbeat person, Even childish (as some people would say)..

Anyway, let me tell a bit about myself so you know the situation.. Ive always found it easy to make friends but lose interest in them quite fast as most turn out to be stoners (nothing against it, its just not my thing to sit in smoking all night) .. Ive always enjoyed going to pubs/clubs..

Ive split with my girlfriend of 3 years and soon after found myself in a new relationship, most nights were spent out in pubs having fun. soon after i met her parents and we went on holidays together.. My anxiety went crazy whilest on holidays because im not exactly a person that can function the day after drinking ( i get shakes, weak knees etc in public the next day, i also dont have an apetite).. I was so anxious that i spent most days in the apartment alone and cant even remember being in the airport on the way home) ..

We got home and sat infront of the tv after a horrible trip home, getting agitated and angry to even get off the bus... I could not for the life of me watch the tv (concentrate) so i went to play darts out back and kept forgeting which number i was on (frustrated) .. Basically what led to that was my fear of forgetting things... I would go back over everything someone said to me to make sure i could remember it all, i still cant watch tv because im convinced i wont make sense of it... I left myself with a fear of forgetting/concentrating..

I cant talk to people now because a conversation seems to much cant focus on what there saying etc.. i feel so down and helpless..
I fear talking to people because i feel as if i dont know either where a conversation is going or what the point of it was, i just listen and take none of it in...

Is this due to me probly having more confidence whilest drinking, overthinking and looking for too much usefull info from things or is it just a silly fear of convincing myself i cant do something?

Sorry my post is all over the place very hard to describe how i feel at the moment..


I also had the most intense feeling of presure in my head which i presume is due to the stress of it all..

Ohh i also found myself saying things i wouldnt normally say (trying to be funny etc)

[funkstarsista]

It sounds like alcohol is an anxiety trigger for you. What goes up must come down :( While you are socalising and drinking you feel great, the life of the party, but the next day - the black dog, depression, what did I say? what did I do? physical symptoms from feeling ill and hungover, you feel weak and tired, defenceless against your own negative thoughts...
My friend it sounds like drinking just isn't worth the price you pay afterwards.
If I were you I'd cut right back or consider stopping for a while.
The after affects you are going through sound like a nightmare...not worth it.

[Polarexpress]

thanks for the reply.. id say your right.. i was probly pretty depressed and the fact that i didnt have an interest freaked me out.. still fighting these thoughts some time after.. whats weird though is even before holidays all i had was the fear of publicplaces, now its like i fear talking to anyone

[alankay]

Alcohol can loosen you up but the next day you'll feel anxious/tense/nervous as the calming neurotransmitter gaba was released by the alcohol as well as some dopamine(and others) when drinking. This slowly clears the next day and night. This is a common scenario and you should expect this. You can drink quality beer/wine but most of all.... moderate. You will also not sleep as well and get less REM sleep after drinking so it''s a price you/we will pay. Less rem sleep can cause you to be irritable/tired. Anyway, yes, I think you are just anxious and have fixated on memory just as some who are anxious fixate on the heart, stomach, etc, when there is no real issue. Rest assured this is all just.....anxiety. PM me any time. Alankay