Polarexpress
11-21-2012, 12:21 PM
I find this rather unusual myself...
Im 24, Used to be a very upbeat person, Even childish (as some people would say)..
Anyway, let me tell a bit about myself so you know the situation.. Ive always found it easy to make friends but lose interest in them quite fast as most turn out to be stoners (nothing against it, its just not my thing to sit in smoking all night) .. Ive always enjoyed going to pubs/clubs..
Ive split with my girlfriend of 3 years and soon after found myself in a new relationship, most nights were spent out in pubs having fun. soon after i met her parents and we went on holidays together.. My anxiety went crazy whilest on holidays because im not exactly a person that can function the day after drinking ( i get shakes, weak knees etc in public the next day, i also dont have an apetite).. I was so anxious that i spent most days in the apartment alone and cant even remember being in the airport on the way home) ..
We got home and sat infront of the tv after a horrible trip home, getting agitated and angry to even get off the bus... I could not for the life of me watch the tv (concentrate) so i went to play darts out back and kept forgeting which number i was on (frustrated) .. Basically what led to that was my fear of forgetting things... I would go back over everything someone said to me to make sure i could remember it all, i still cant watch tv because im convinced i wont make sense of it... I left myself with a fear of forgetting/concentrating..
I cant talk to people now because a conversation seems to much cant focus on what there saying etc.. i feel so down and helpless..
I fear talking to people because i feel as if i dont know either where a conversation is going or what the point of it was, i just listen and take none of it in...
Is this due to me probly having more confidence whilest drinking, overthinking and looking for too much usefull info from things or is it just a silly fear of convincing myself i cant do something?
Sorry my post is all over the place very hard to describe how i feel at the moment..
I also had the most intense feeling of presure in my head which i presume is due to the stress of it all..
Ohh i also found myself saying things i wouldnt normally say (trying to be funny etc)
Im 24, Used to be a very upbeat person, Even childish (as some people would say)..
Anyway, let me tell a bit about myself so you know the situation.. Ive always found it easy to make friends but lose interest in them quite fast as most turn out to be stoners (nothing against it, its just not my thing to sit in smoking all night) .. Ive always enjoyed going to pubs/clubs..
Ive split with my girlfriend of 3 years and soon after found myself in a new relationship, most nights were spent out in pubs having fun. soon after i met her parents and we went on holidays together.. My anxiety went crazy whilest on holidays because im not exactly a person that can function the day after drinking ( i get shakes, weak knees etc in public the next day, i also dont have an apetite).. I was so anxious that i spent most days in the apartment alone and cant even remember being in the airport on the way home) ..
We got home and sat infront of the tv after a horrible trip home, getting agitated and angry to even get off the bus... I could not for the life of me watch the tv (concentrate) so i went to play darts out back and kept forgeting which number i was on (frustrated) .. Basically what led to that was my fear of forgetting things... I would go back over everything someone said to me to make sure i could remember it all, i still cant watch tv because im convinced i wont make sense of it... I left myself with a fear of forgetting/concentrating..
I cant talk to people now because a conversation seems to much cant focus on what there saying etc.. i feel so down and helpless..
I fear talking to people because i feel as if i dont know either where a conversation is going or what the point of it was, i just listen and take none of it in...
Is this due to me probly having more confidence whilest drinking, overthinking and looking for too much usefull info from things or is it just a silly fear of convincing myself i cant do something?
Sorry my post is all over the place very hard to describe how i feel at the moment..
I also had the most intense feeling of presure in my head which i presume is due to the stress of it all..
Ohh i also found myself saying things i wouldnt normally say (trying to be funny etc)