daisydays33
11-21-2012, 04:16 AM
Let me start by saying I've never had a panic attack before. I've never hyperventilated or freaked out or anything like that. I get an upset stomach before tests and presentations, but that's about it.
I was in the store today getting ready to buy something. My mom insisted that I ask her boyfriend to be there for it instead of her because he has a discount. My credit cards and debit wouldn't be enough to pay for it because of the various limits I have so I had to ask him if he could pay for it first and I would pay him back daily (due to withdrawal limits) until I got it in full. I remember feeling really upset about having to ask him to do this because I don't know him well and I don't like the idea of owing some stranger that much money. I was pretty uncomfortable with the fact that I had to ask him to be there in the first place but my mom is always forcing me to cozy up to him.
He said that he didn't have his card with him and I thought that he looked a bit upset that I even asked (maybe it was me projecting onto him because I really, really hated asking). I said it was fine but it really actually sucked cause I didn't know how I was going to pay for the whole thing. I remember beginning to dial my mom's number to ask her if she could come and pay for it first.
Then I started feeling really hot and shaky. I paused from dialing the number to breathe, I think and next thing I know, people are over me, trying to wake me up and asking me if I'm okay. I was confused for a while. I thought I was at home and I was waking up in the morning from a deep sleep. I didn't feel rested though, just really hot, still unable to speak because of the heat in my throat. I felt like crying with all the questions, people and stuff. I really had to fight that.
The reason I think this is a panic attack is because I was really uncomfortable and mortified with having to ask him to pay for it first. I didn't want him to think I was some loser trying to hustle him (I'm not, I have the money!). But I didn't actually feel panicked until I got really hot and shaky and that was so scary.
I don't want this to ever happen again. I know they say you rarely faint during a panic attack but I think I panicked and then other factors caused me to faint (I didn't eat all day, I eat very little meat). How do I control my panicking? I don't know when this started. I'm usually very chill and not prone to worrying or panicking at all. I'm known for being able to overlook things and not let things get to me. This is really new.
I feel weak, vulnerable, a bit stupid and kind of embarrassed. I don't like this. And every time I think back to how I passed out, I'm filled with dread. I'm also filled with dread at having to talk to my mom's boyfriend again. What do I do?
Sorry, this is quite the rant! Thanks for reading.
I was in the store today getting ready to buy something. My mom insisted that I ask her boyfriend to be there for it instead of her because he has a discount. My credit cards and debit wouldn't be enough to pay for it because of the various limits I have so I had to ask him if he could pay for it first and I would pay him back daily (due to withdrawal limits) until I got it in full. I remember feeling really upset about having to ask him to do this because I don't know him well and I don't like the idea of owing some stranger that much money. I was pretty uncomfortable with the fact that I had to ask him to be there in the first place but my mom is always forcing me to cozy up to him.
He said that he didn't have his card with him and I thought that he looked a bit upset that I even asked (maybe it was me projecting onto him because I really, really hated asking). I said it was fine but it really actually sucked cause I didn't know how I was going to pay for the whole thing. I remember beginning to dial my mom's number to ask her if she could come and pay for it first.
Then I started feeling really hot and shaky. I paused from dialing the number to breathe, I think and next thing I know, people are over me, trying to wake me up and asking me if I'm okay. I was confused for a while. I thought I was at home and I was waking up in the morning from a deep sleep. I didn't feel rested though, just really hot, still unable to speak because of the heat in my throat. I felt like crying with all the questions, people and stuff. I really had to fight that.
The reason I think this is a panic attack is because I was really uncomfortable and mortified with having to ask him to pay for it first. I didn't want him to think I was some loser trying to hustle him (I'm not, I have the money!). But I didn't actually feel panicked until I got really hot and shaky and that was so scary.
I don't want this to ever happen again. I know they say you rarely faint during a panic attack but I think I panicked and then other factors caused me to faint (I didn't eat all day, I eat very little meat). How do I control my panicking? I don't know when this started. I'm usually very chill and not prone to worrying or panicking at all. I'm known for being able to overlook things and not let things get to me. This is really new.
I feel weak, vulnerable, a bit stupid and kind of embarrassed. I don't like this. And every time I think back to how I passed out, I'm filled with dread. I'm also filled with dread at having to talk to my mom's boyfriend again. What do I do?
Sorry, this is quite the rant! Thanks for reading.