I need something, someone maybe.

[bytorandthesnowdog]

I just joined and really need to talk to someone and it seems the only way I am able to talk to anyone is anonymously online. I think my anxiety levels are incredibly high. On a daily basis I feel sick at my stomach, headaches, twitching and some weird muscle spasms, exhaustion, muscle soreness, tightening of my chest/shortness of breath, my whole body trembling, heart pounding, light headedness, and lots of sweating to name some physical symptoms. Most of those are very intense. On top of that I feel like I am losing control of my mind, I can't control my thoughts, I relive embarrassing and painful moments from my past, even very minor ones, over and over, I can't talk to people I don't know, I have no motivation to do anything, nothing seems fun to me anymore, I am terrified of the future and what lies ahead for me, I think about the future all the time in a negative way, I'm very paranoid about everything from people talking about me to me dying, I'm very indecisive, and I can't concentrate for very long to name some mental and emotional symptoms and again, most are very intense. I'm assuming these are all due to my anxiety considering their frequency. I am physically unable to do certain things like attend parties, even small ones, or speak up without being prompted to speak. I've been on medicine for a long time and I honestly don't know what half of them are for anymore. I know one is for stomach pains, which doesn't help, and another is for anxiety, but obviously that one does nothing either. I went to therapy for a few years and that didn't help at all. I was even sent to a special school for people with mental disorders. We had group therapy everyday and one on one therapy weekly. Nothing changed. In fact it's just been getting worse. I feel like there is nothing I can do. I don't know how long I can keep trying. I'll be going to college next year and I'm very worried that if I don't get over this anxiety, I won't make it through. My life feels like a living hell, even though I know I have it great. Many opportunities, luxuries, a caring family, and everything I need to be happy. But I'm not. I feel selfish and greedy because of that. I don't know what I hope to get out of this, maybe I just want to tell someone the whole truth assuming someone reads this or maybe I want someone to talk to. If you managed to get this far; Thank you for reading.

[stjlynn]

I have the same problem I feel like its getting worse and worse :(

[angieproc1977]

Hugs to you it's awful and I have a lot of the symptoms you mentioned and they're awful I do feel my main support is a forum like this as everyone knows what I'm going through and can sympathise my family are there for me but I feel I get on their nerves and they tell me I'm fine just to shut me up x

[j2005]

You've just listed symptoms of anxiety...we've all been there and many of us have made it through the worst. You can too.

The starting point is to gain s clear understanding of what anxiety is and how it is affecting you.

The next step is acceptance. Don't try to find answers. Just acknowledge that you have anxiety. Practice not responding to symptoms with fear. Breathe deeply through meditation.

We'll help you get through this,

James

[eyebob]

If anonymously posting helps, keep doing it. Thats a start. My only thought is to try to reframe your guilt about needing help. Anxiety is like any other disease. Take whatever help is offered by professionals and friends, just like you would if you had some other type of disease.