katieattenborough
11-16-2012, 02:45 PM
Hi, its took me a while to accept that this is taking over my life in so many ways. I cant do half the things i used to do. Go out with my friends to the cinema, go to town, go on holiday (GET A PLANE), theme parks, day trips.
My anxiety and panic attacks first started about a year ago and half ago, i first became aware of it after a hard break up with my ex boyfriend. It crushed me. It got to the point where i bottled everything up for so long my body could no longer take it. It was the thought of me not wanting to accept the breakup. I wanted to believe that we would always get back together as i thought he was the love of my life and still is.... I cried and cried myself to sleep everything night, pretending i was fine to my friends like i was happy as ever (even though i was feeling the complete opposite). After so long, of bottling things up it led to anxiety. The feeling is hard to explain like i was floating... scard, dizzy, like something bad was going to happen to me. It was horrible. The worst feeling ever. It got worse. As months passed the panic attacks arrived. They arrived when i least expected it. It was like i lost whole control of my body. Heart beating, feeling dizzy, feeling faint, thinking the worst. The panic attacks carried on for several months... then just stopped. They stopped for quite a while.. then came back again.
In July 2012 this year I went on holiday with the girls, fair to say i never once thought about getting anxiety. I didnt get it on the way there or at all on holiday... it was the best holiday ever... until the flight home. As soon as the plane took off, then it hit me the anxiety... the panic.. it hit me straight away. Four hours on a plane full of these episodes of course i thought well that was it, how the hell am i going to make it home? From already being drained with hardly any sleep from drinking all holiday my body was already exhausted... so to pile on panic attacks wasnt what i needed. I first began to feel strange like i was spinning, dizzy and i didnt feel safe. I keep thinking danger... I just wanted to get home and see my mum but knowing it would take four hours made me feel worse. Eventually i made it home which left me shaken for a long time, however the unstable emotion stayed which has left me feeling worse. Its now triggered to me hating open spaces. As soon as see the sky, i freak out, i want to run in doors? I see as danger? Why? Its just space? Why does it make me feel so nervous and scard?
Even Space scares me all the planets, the unknown freaks me out? I just want to it go away. Typing this makes me feel uneasy. Space is space. Has been for years. Why is it effecting me so much? Its thougth of the earth and gravity. without gravity we wouldnt have the earth? what if gravity dissappeared thats what scares me the earth wil fall? that needs to get out my head and never come back you see its the phobias that trigger my anxierty. feeling unsafe all the open spaces, space in general, heights?
someone help me to resolve all this as it is offically ruining my life
My anxiety and panic attacks first started about a year ago and half ago, i first became aware of it after a hard break up with my ex boyfriend. It crushed me. It got to the point where i bottled everything up for so long my body could no longer take it. It was the thought of me not wanting to accept the breakup. I wanted to believe that we would always get back together as i thought he was the love of my life and still is.... I cried and cried myself to sleep everything night, pretending i was fine to my friends like i was happy as ever (even though i was feeling the complete opposite). After so long, of bottling things up it led to anxiety. The feeling is hard to explain like i was floating... scard, dizzy, like something bad was going to happen to me. It was horrible. The worst feeling ever. It got worse. As months passed the panic attacks arrived. They arrived when i least expected it. It was like i lost whole control of my body. Heart beating, feeling dizzy, feeling faint, thinking the worst. The panic attacks carried on for several months... then just stopped. They stopped for quite a while.. then came back again.
In July 2012 this year I went on holiday with the girls, fair to say i never once thought about getting anxiety. I didnt get it on the way there or at all on holiday... it was the best holiday ever... until the flight home. As soon as the plane took off, then it hit me the anxiety... the panic.. it hit me straight away. Four hours on a plane full of these episodes of course i thought well that was it, how the hell am i going to make it home? From already being drained with hardly any sleep from drinking all holiday my body was already exhausted... so to pile on panic attacks wasnt what i needed. I first began to feel strange like i was spinning, dizzy and i didnt feel safe. I keep thinking danger... I just wanted to get home and see my mum but knowing it would take four hours made me feel worse. Eventually i made it home which left me shaken for a long time, however the unstable emotion stayed which has left me feeling worse. Its now triggered to me hating open spaces. As soon as see the sky, i freak out, i want to run in doors? I see as danger? Why? Its just space? Why does it make me feel so nervous and scard?
Even Space scares me all the planets, the unknown freaks me out? I just want to it go away. Typing this makes me feel uneasy. Space is space. Has been for years. Why is it effecting me so much? Its thougth of the earth and gravity. without gravity we wouldnt have the earth? what if gravity dissappeared thats what scares me the earth wil fall? that needs to get out my head and never come back you see its the phobias that trigger my anxierty. feeling unsafe all the open spaces, space in general, heights?
someone help me to resolve all this as it is offically ruining my life