Out of place

[Social Butterfly]

I Feel So Out Of Place, All The Time.
I Try To Fit In And Have Friends,
But No Matter Where I Go I Always Feel Out Of Place.
I Just Don't Think I Belong Anywhere.

[jhunter89]

Aww you belong here! :)

[dazza]

I Feel So Out Of Place, All The Time.
I Try To Fit In And Have Friends,
But No Matter Where I Go I Always Feel Out Of Place.
I Just Don't Think I Belong Anywhere.


sorry... did someone just say something?

:-P

[IRONS080]

I Feel So Out Of Place, All The Time.
I Try To Fit In And Have Friends,
But No Matter Where I Go I Always Feel Out Of Place.
I Just Don't Think I Belong Anywhere.

If you make friends with the right people you shouldn't have to 'fit in'.

If you feel out of place try and find another place.

I spent my whole life trying to fit into a certain group until I realised they were all self obsessed a,holes.

[star1234]

I agree. If you have to try to fit in then your looking in the wrong place. Any relationship or friendship that requires to much energy is not worth it at all. Maybe if you stop trying things will fall into place. I know this from my own daughters experience. She wanted to hang out with the cool skinny girls in school but her herself felt left out because she was not as popular as them because of her weight. Now she is a Sophmore and is extremely popular but has learned that you have to love and feel good about yourself first and then your positive energy will attract the right kind of people. Now she has them as acquaintances and prefers to have others as friends. This does not just happen in school it happens at work too.

[IRONS080]

This does not just happen in school it happens at work too.

That's very true, it starts at school and never ends. I have been part of the 'in' crowd before and found that no one gives a damn about each other, it's not real friendship.

The friendliest people I have found is other people who suffer from Anxiety! If I'm at a work or at a conference I'll find the awkward looking person on their own trying not to make eye contact and go speak to them, they are always the most genuine down to earth people!

[star1234]

You said it yourself! It's not a real friendship so why would you want to have friends like that? It's a messed up world we live in. It takes a catastrophe like hurricane sandy to actually have your next door neighbor or co-worker notice that you exist for the first time. I was always taught by my mother that your true friends are your mother and father. It's true. But I've been blessed with great friends. I must admit I had to put in my part because I usually shut people out. I like my daughter we are popular but we still like our own space. I know it's good to get out have fun and blow off some steam. But at the end of the day I really enjoy just being home with my family. I have acquaintances that are in their late 40s and party every weekend. That's not me. That's not what u want for my life. I've been there and done that. After a long day of work I like my wine, my cozy pajamas, a good flick and to know that I share the same roof with the people I care about the most, my family. One thing I hate is to be a hypocrit or for hypocrit friends.

[AceParadox]

I felt like this at the worst of times during high school. I'd literally start walking to the front doors from the parking lot, and it'd seem like the whole world around me was cold and gray. When walking by people it would feel as if they are all watching me, and their stares would hit like a spear in my back, their mouths would move but no voices would be heard except for like what sounded like an echo of "Oh look it's ..... [insert random gossip here]".

Then I'd hear my friend and everything would be normal again. I'd be back to normal, until we met up with the rest of our buddies. Then as they all talked, the world would gray out again... Their voices would start to fade to an echo. Then I'd start thinking "Who the hell am I supposed to be?", "I don't belong here...I feel like an alien to everyone."

It started to feel like... Like what if the whole world was just a stage, and everyone in it were just actors. People pretending to be your friends, but weren't really. Terribly silly idea but it's what it felt like. Or it felt like, everyone around me was normal and I was an outcast to them. Even though it would look like I fit in perfectly, it didn't feel that way to me at all. Every time somebody else could do something I couldn't, and others could do it too, I'd feel but destroyed making myself believe further that I didn't belong. Like you have no idea how different I felt, when me and my friends went to a sushi house, and everyone liked the stuff but me. Completely dumb, but felt bad for me.


I realized though, that all of that was just silly. I decided to just be myself no matter what, and be happy about it. Anytime somebody could do something I couldn't, I'd try it at least, and if I still couldn't do it or didn't like it, I wouldn't. I'd focus on what I was good at and work to be the best at it. I then noticed I had so many friends and fit in perfectly, I realized I had some of the schools prettiest girls with crushes on me. I left the football team, and joined the theatre geeks :D and never did I feel more accepted and happily fitting in. Acting was something I found I was good at too, I never thought I would be, but I excelled so much at it I was second lead in the State one-act play competition for a role I made myself literally cry for a monologue.


If you don't feel you fit in maybe look at the reasons why? Could it be you would fit in more with different kind of people? I rolled with the "jocks" for 2 years of high school, all they talked about were girls they were gunna lay, their junk, football, supplements, steroids, and making fun of nice people at school. When they'd completely bash a nerdy guy for the way he looked or dressed I'd just kind of smile slightly and be like "yeah, sure guys a freak..." then sort of just frown and feel terrible inside for the guy. Once I ditched that group and got into the theatre where everyone acted as nerdy and weird as they wanted and just didn't care, I felt amazing. and they didn't make fun of others. If somebody seemed weird or awkward, we invited them right on in.

No clue where I'm even going here, I'm kind of ranting on. But I think theres a good point somewhere in there. x.x hope maybe I helped a bit

[Social Butterfly]

Thanks everyone,
I didn't mean "fit in" as try to make myself belong.
I meant it as in I never really felt comfortable, it happens everywhere.
Within my family, my friends, work mates, and study group.

[josie359]

Thanks everyone,
I didn't mean "fit in" as try to make myself belong.
I meant it as in I never really felt comfortable, it happens everywhere.
Within my family, my friends, work mates, and study group.

I know exactly how u feel this is annoying but try to relax and do fun things with the people around you to take ur mind off of ur uncomfortableness

[dazza]

Get yourself a moustache t-shirt... then you'll fit in! (right Josie?)

[dazza]

People who reckon they don't fit in, is generally because of one of the following reasons:

a/ they genuinely DON'T fit in because they really are different (e.g. a punk trying to fit in with academics)
The answer... find your own "sort"

b/ they have, for some reason, got their own opinions of near everything which differ to that of general consensus.
You know the sort? the sort who reckon they're right and the rest of the world is wrong all the time.
They make a rod for their own back. Finding their own "sort" is harder since they are minority.
Not always their fault, they seem to be "just this way" and that's that.
(Often this gets better with age)

c/ they're depressed / sad / down
You generally can't fit in when you're in the dumps

d/ you have a genuine mental disorder which causes abnormal, social behaviour

e/ you are genuinely or dispositioned to be a loner / the type who prefers their own company and cares less about being with others

f/ you seriously lack self confidence

g/ you try TOO hard to be accepted... which invariably back fires as you're seen as a creep / false

h/ they have contagious herpes and no-one will come close... just in case

i/ they THINK they're cleverer than everyone else and either actually, or pretend to look down on others


Fitting in is all about give and take. A neutral approach to the world is best.

[drmills]

What is it that makes you feel so out of place? Would you feel out of place if you knew everyone else feels out of place too?