I can't believe this took me so long

[oliveoil424]

I'm online all the time but for some reason never thought to look up an anxiety forum. I've been dealing with anxiety for 3ish years now, and it's been the worst the past three or so months. My husband and I just moved. It's been much harder than expected for me to find a job. Currently we are both working for his parents, which is awful. I keep getting so close to a job (interview, second interview, rejection. sigh), and then get let down and it's taking it's toll. I think my anxiety manifests as hypochondria. A quick recap:

I moved here from another state, and after a year my allergies kicked in. It never occurred to me that it would be allergies, since I've never had that issue. I would have terrible pressure behind my eyes. It was allergies; I thought it was a tumor or something and made myself panic.

We moved, and I can't find a job. So, I am stressed and nervous. My heart pounds and pounds and I thought I was having a heart attack or some weird issue so I went and spend $240 at a clinic, got an EKG, and everything was fine, but still I get nervous about it. And it feeds into itself: I'll feel my heart pounding, focus on it, feel like it gets worse, make myself more nervous, my heart rate increases, on and on and on. I constantly feel like I'm about to die and I am terrified of dying. Since we moved, my allergies are back (sinus pressure headaches), so I got an RX for antibiotics today and read the side effects and they're terrifying me. Plus now I feel like I have this pain at my hairline--it kind of feels like my hair is being pulled? It's weird. And it's making me panic.

I don't know how to reign myself in and not drive myself to more panic. I need ways to manage this. I tell my husband and he is sympathetic but he doesn't really understand. I don't know what to do. :(

[SunnieDebris]

Oliveoil424,

Well, you found a forum. I hope you receive support here. I take it that you do not have access to mental health services. Your anxiety sounds perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances. One thing struck me while reading your post. You say you get close, but never actually land another job. I'm wondering, do you think maybe your current employers are giving you a bad reference? I don't mean to plant a seed of doubt in your in-laws, but people have strange motivations for their behaviors.

You may want to start with information that you can get for free on the Internet. Then, if something strikes a chord with you, you can make a purchase, if you need to. I always recommend dialectical behavior therapy, because it gives you so many choices, but that is not the only answer. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Sunnie

[alankay]

I'd see a therapist and talk about anxiety. Come right out and say it's anxiety. Then see if a source can be found and things altered. If not see a doc for meds at least for now. PM any time. Alankay