kajikun
11-09-2012, 01:34 AM
As a bit of background, two and a half years ago my anxiety began to get really bad. To the point where I couldn't deal with it. I started to make myself throw up, just to get rid of the anxiety. I felt nausea all the time. My heart was always racing (avg heart rate about 120-130). I'm 26 years old. A little over a year ago I began to see a psychiatrist and it got better with the medications I was on. I eventually had to stop going because I couldn't afford it anymore and my parents couldn't help me out. I've always had bad anxiety, but, it seems like it has evolved over the past few years and all my coping mechanisms don't work anymore. I can't deal with this anymore. I am going back to my old psychiatrist, hoping that we can start on the meds I was on (luvox and clonazepam, because they WORKED!), but I don't have an appointment for another month and can't get it moved up. This anxiety is out of control and my urge to throw up has come back and I can't stop thinking about it. I originally did it by accident bc of anxiety, because I cough really hard when my anxiety gets bad...and I coughed so hard I threw up.
I saw a GP and they wouldn't prescribe me anything even short term, saying 'oh these meds can be addictive and aren't approved for longterm use'. So now I'm just self medicating with alcohol, which I know is TERRIBLE, but I can't sleep, I can't get this anxiety to go away...I can't calm down. My body is in such bad condition right now. I'm genuinely afraid because I can't control it and I feel like it's not even psychological anymore, it has become a purely physical/biological phenomenon.
I just don't want it to destroy my life anymore than it already has..
Sorry to vent, I just feel so helpless about all of this right now.
I saw a GP and they wouldn't prescribe me anything even short term, saying 'oh these meds can be addictive and aren't approved for longterm use'. So now I'm just self medicating with alcohol, which I know is TERRIBLE, but I can't sleep, I can't get this anxiety to go away...I can't calm down. My body is in such bad condition right now. I'm genuinely afraid because I can't control it and I feel like it's not even psychological anymore, it has become a purely physical/biological phenomenon.
I just don't want it to destroy my life anymore than it already has..
Sorry to vent, I just feel so helpless about all of this right now.