How Do I deal With Someone Like this?

[PanicCured]

After I cured myself of anxiety I try to help others when I can. But I do have my limits. I really don't know what to do with stubborn people that ask for help but just want to argue they are victims to the death. This lady tells me she was on Valume and Xanax then cold turkey a number of times but has been off them for 6 months. Xanax was like 0.5 mg 3 times a day for 6 months. Woop Dee Do right? Then she got on Klonopins .5 mg 3 times day. For hours I tried to give her the usual how to calm anxiety schtick and for over 3 hours she insisted that all her anxiety is caused by Benzos. "You have no idea what cold turkey does to your brain. I had no anxiety before I took Benzos." I ask her, "Why did you take Benzons?" She answers, "Because I had panic attacks." "Oh, so you did have anxiety" "Not before I took the Xanax." "You said you had panic attacks." "Yeah but just a couple of times."

My god! I can't handle it. I can't handle people that can't take responsibilities for themselves and use their own personal power to get better. This was 3 hours of this and I want to bash my head against a brisk wall. Take some responsibility for yourself for gods sakes. I know Benzos can screw you up but she lives 24/7 in an anxious obsessive state of "look what those evil doctors and drugs did to me!"

Anyone want to call her and try? She is the worst case of anxiety I have ever seen before. I have no more patience.

[raggamuffin]

Direct her to some CBT worksheet sites? Get her to read it through, kinda show her the anxiety issues in lame mans terms. Get her on the road to recovery at her own pace? Some people won't listen to reason. Not much you can do if someone can't even get on the first step and accept that they've got anxiety or accept the anxiety is causing the symptoms etc.

Ed

[dazza]

Direct her to some CBT worksheet sites? Get her to read it through, kinda show her the anxiety issues in lame mans terms. Get her on the road to recovery at her own pace? Some people won't listen to reason. Not much you can do if someone can't even get on the first step and accept that they've got anxiety or accept the anxiety is causing the symptoms etc.

Ed

Dont be silly... just knock her out with an Ali upper cut.

Flyyy like a butterfly, Sting like a bee

[sadieleanna]

Thats NOT funny! She obviously has major issues and needs professional help. NOT people taking the p***,no matter how annoying she may seem!

[dazza]

Thats NOT funny! She obviously has major issues and needs professional help. NOT people taking the p***,no matter how annoying she may seem!

I'm responding appropriately. As the original poster said... some people dont or cant listen, so what can ya do? Ok... maybe not a knock out, but a good old slap may help :-D

[PanicCured]

Dazza, STOP posting on my threads! You are not funny and you annoy me! Who needs stupid wisecracks?

All she wants to think about and talk about is she is a victim of drugs and it is 100% drugs and there would be no severe anxiety, panic, agoraphobia without the drugs. This blocks all pathways to recovery this thinking. She is on 5 mg of Klonopins 3 times a day now. I really doubt it is causing her 24/7 anxiety. I tried to explain to her that the path to healing is the same and by blaming it all chemicals you take zero responsibility. Crying on and on about how drugs did this to you. I just don't buy it. I think she has anxiety that she refuses to accept. She thinks 6 months ago she went cold turky a few times so her brian is still not recovered. That may be so, but that would not cause 24/7 massive panic. She keeps telling me horror stories of other Benzo victims and what she read, etc.

Like I said, anyone here want to talk to her and see if you can help? I'll give you her number. This is the worst case of anxiety I've ever come across. I have realized I am not good at this. I am only good at offering solutions and guidance when someone wants it. I really am not good at holding someone's hand and having them cry on my shoulder. I just don't know how to help someone that can't help themselves. It's like, "Shut up and just do what you need to do."

[dazza]

Apologies for the wisecracks. I know this and all anxiety issues are serious, but I try to "unserious" it where possible or else people end up burying themselves too deeply in seriousness, which invariably has no conclusive outcome - much like this thread, I'm betting.

Besides, although I'd be tempted to actually slap this person, she's probably the sort that would take you to court for such a thing anyway.
The type that's "woe is me... i'm so hard done by... no-one can help me..."
The type that thrives on all things bad and attention seeks at every opportune moment.

I've met a few... and they are best left WELL alone to stew in their own juices.

Often this kind of behaviour is a cry for help. Not necessarily in the problem they choose to use as the excuse, but for general help... in life.
Confused / depressed / helpless, so help me god.

Seriously... what can you do if they don't listen?

[dazza]

Apologies for the wisecracks. I know this and all anxiety issues are serious, but I try to "unserious" it where possible or else people end up burying themselves too deeply in seriousness, which invariably has no conclusive outcome - much like this thread, I'm betting.

Besides, although I'd be tempted to actually slap this person, she's probably the sort that would take you to court for such a thing anyway.
The type that's "woe is me... i'm so hard done by... no-one can help me..."
The type that thrives on all things bad and attention seeks at every opportune moment.

I've met a few... and they are best left WELL alone to stew in their own juices.

Often this kind of behaviour is a cry for help. Not necessarily in the problem they choose to use as the excuse, but for general help... in life.
Confused / depressed / helpless, so help me god.

Seriously... what can you do if they don't listen?

Replying to my own post... you know what the usual cause of all this attention is?

LOVE, or lack of it.

[camilla91]

You can't help someone that's not willing to listen, that's the be all and end all of it..
Sounds like she thinks she's a lost cause, my anxiety was started with an anti depressant, I blamed the drug for a while, it was started by the drug but I can fix it myself, sitting about waiting for it to cure itself isn't going to help..
I say leave her today, let things sink in for her, try again tomorrow.
I hope she gets the help she needs

[kajikun]

Cold turkey off Benzos if you've been taking them for a while, along with any SSRI (see SSRI discontinuation syndrome)...will give you really bad anxiety. I've had a worse time getting off of an SSRI. To me, it is more difficult than Clonazepam, which is what I used to be on.

But you can't get through to everyone unfortunately.

[camilla91]

I came off an SSRI, went cold turkey, it was the worst time ever and my anxiety come in waves for the past three months, but there's things you can do to tackle it, there comes a time when you can identify what symptom is anxiety and which is not, when she's ready she'll listen, but sounds like she's at that stage when you first discover anxiety and all its symptoms, she'll calm and be ready to listen soon.

[kajikun]

When I came off ssri cold turkey I was bedridden for two and a half months.

[camilla91]

Wow! You must have been on the tablets a long time? I Just got bad sweats, Headache, shakes and depersonalization, I only stayed in bed for 3 days, I think the affects last a while

[PanicCured]

Camilla nailed it! You dont just sit around like you got the flu. You do something about it. I got 5 calls 5:30 AM today from her and all she wants to do is tell me how she is Benzo sick and every doctor tells her its all in her head but it is 100% Benzo sick. Even though she hasn't been on anything for 6 months, other than 0.5 mg klonopins 3 times a day, She is Benzo sick on the floor with tremors and cant move or go out. There is nothing she can do or anything can help because she is the victim of Benzos. Her body won't stabilize like normal people and she is suicidal. She refuses to call 9-11 or go see a doctor because they don't believe her. Hmmm, obviously because she is nuts!

Camilla will you call her? I have no patience. I told her if if its not a solution then I dont want to hear it. Anxiety to me is a joke. I just cant take it seriously anymore. Benzo sickness does suck, but she is probably more screwed up from diarrhea and malnourishment than anything else.

Who is compassionate and knowledgeable to call her?

[camilla91]

I don't think I'd be very compassionate lol is she on o2 or from england? If she is I'll ring her, she just needs some sort of motivational speech, sounds like she's just wallowing and is happy to do just that, I think you might need to be a little bit harsh with her..

[trinidiva]

Let me know what happens. Id call her too, but I'm in Washington, DC....

[trinidiva]

Sorry if you answered this before, have you referred her to this forum?

[PanicCured]

So you want to call her Forwellis? She is in Michigan.

Look, she was off Benzons for 6 month. Then she got on klonopin, another Benzo /5 mg 3 times a day. I see no reason why she should have witdrawals now if she is not dropping her dose. She just keeps saying she tried cold turkey 3 times 6 months + ago, and that ruined her life and all her symptoms are because of that. I was screaming at her. I told her she has anxiety on top of that, and she isnt eating so malnourishment and if she can get healthy and treat the anxiety by my methods, she will get a lot better but she refuses to accept there is any anxiety. Please someone call her. You can use Skype to dial a number or use your cell. She tells me she is suicidal but wont go to a hospital. I am sure the doctors can see she is doing it to herself, not he drugs. The drugs make her feel worse, but I truly believe the rest is done by herself.

[PanicCured]

I think she is obsessed with the fact that doctors are evil and poisoning us with their drugs and she is this victim to the drugs. To me its a bullshit excuse and she just keeps telling herself she is a hopelesss victims to drugs over and over again spinning herself into a tizzy. I took more Klonopins at one time than she takes all day.

[trinidiva]

Can she get onto this forum so we can speak with her? Not sure if she would mind random strangers calling her.....

[funkstarsista]

The blame game get's no-one anywhere. The cause is not as important as the cure. Paniccured, you can cure me anytime you want, I will listen to everything you say :)

[PanicCured]

I told her about this forum, guess what she said, "I've been there." and then complained about it. Sure, anyone want to talk on the phone with me send your number and let's get you healed.