Bad thoughts

[LornaLoo]

So recently things have been difficult at work and I'm getting stressed out and have bad thoughts. I'm 19 y/o and all my friends have become distant since leaving for Uni so I only really have one friend. I feel like they're all out having fun whilst I'm struggling at work. I know it's just the anxiety taking over but I very often think about hurting myself. I know it's a stupid thought but it just occupys my brain all the while. I've not hurt myself I just think about it a lot. I don't feel I can tell anyone as they may think I'm attention seeking.

[sadieleanna]

Ive had thoughts of wanting to die,but i gud never end my on life. Usually happens When im stressed and my anxiety is at its peak. Then i write my feelings down and be done with it.

[trinidiva]

Are you happy with your life, outside of the anxiety? What hobbies do you have? I think that you need to find a group hobby, which will be a way to meet some more friends who share similar interests.....

[raggamuffin]

Need to find a way to release pent up emotion and aggression. Talking to someone can often help with worries and negative thoughts you have. A sport of hobby is a good distraction and sports and exercise can really help release any pent up frustration you have.

Self harm is a slippery slope. Spent several years there and it's not pretty. It doesn't solve anything, just seen as a quick fix to any pent up frustration. but it's not healthy to take out frustration on yourself, obviously because it's physically harming yourself, but also because it easily slips into a routine of self punishing and self loathing which you wind up becoming more and more entrenched in. You're left feeling ashamed and wind up carrying scars with you for life.

Friendships come and go. I lost a lot of friends after college and uni etc finished. You make new friends, just a case of being pro-active about it. But don't forget, family are always good to go to when you need to talk to someone. The people on here are also very helpful and don't judge. We're all here because of some form of anxiety, fear or worry. This can often lead to a lot of anger and frustration when you feel so alienated from yourself.

The road to recovery isn't an overnight affair, but things do get better.

Ed

[LornaLoo]

It's strange because they're almost like a passive thought. Something I wouldn't do but I think about it a lot. Luckily I have the most amazing family and bf so couldn't hurt myself for fear of hurting them.
I've taken up swimming to try keep my mind off things and I also have horses that take up most of my weekend :)

[str1ker]

I have much the same thoughts too Lorna! It is like they are always there. One half of my brain is saying one thing and my other real half is arguing and yelling at the other half saying that I don't want to be like that / do it. Sometimes even with illusions in my head and I try to say to myself "I don't want to do it, I don't want to do it, it is not true," but it just keeps up in my head. It is so annoying.

Has anyone found a way to get these type of irrational / delusional thoughts to stop? How did you get through yours Raggamuffin?

[LornaLoo]

I'm glad someone feels the same :) well, I'm not glad you're having those thoughts :p just that I'm not alone :)
I have arguments in my head to. And a rational side which tries to calm and talk sense into the side telling me to hurt myself. It's weird. I don't like it.

[str1ker]

Yep, I agree. I just want them to stop. I feel so good whenever they stop. Like today I had them as soon as I woke up and had them for much of the day but finally they stopped (I guess whenever I was driving home from school) and I felt so good, I even thought to myself "I can't believe I was thinking those thoughts!" Then randomly after I had not had them and managed to let any feelings pass for about four or five hours they crept in slightly, so I came to this site, reading and posting then decided to go to the chat room for a little bit. The first message that came up was an extremely negative message and it really set the irrational thoughts off like a firework.

Have you found anything that makes them better or allows you to stop thinking about them?

[amneasy]

I saw a post once where someone said that every time they started to get bad/worrying thoughts they would play this game where you have to name a movie/band/celebrity/etc for every letter in the alphabet starting with the A. I tried and found it surprisingly helpful, in a few minutes you'll be cursing yourself for not remembering a movie that starts with letter H and the bad thoughs you were having before will be far gone. Give it a try.

[raggamuffin]

It's difficult battling with the internal monologue you have going in your head. There is often the manic (which can be either positive or negative) and then the realist side of things. For me, i'm either really jovial and happy or very down in the dumps. It can change almost instantly and there's little balance in terms of how I feel. But you have to make do with what you have.

Annoyingly I started smoking cannabis for 7 years. This did stop self harming. But it stopped everything. It's a drug that numbs you, makes you rather indifferent to emotions, feelings etc. But since anxiety came along I have quit smoking weed. Nowadays anxiety aches and pains occur every hour of every day. But again, my body is adapting. Learning new tools to combat this with CBT.

But anxiety tends to make you feel so alienated from yourself and you simply wish to feel normal. Nowadays I really enjoy the moments i'm not anxious or in pain etc.

Distraction is key when it comes to anxiety or over thinking yourself into a hole etc. Keep busy and share your problems with those close to you. Or maybe even look into CBT as I think it'd provide many people with beneficial results.

Ed