pinkpears333
04-16-2007, 10:38 PM
This is weird and this is completely new for me. I suffered from a panic attack about six months ago. I was going through a new living situation-unhealthy family environment so I chose to leave and live on my own. Everything was great, I had a job, all of my friends and my boyfriend were helping me out. Then one day in class I felt dizzy, I thought I was going to faint, die,have a heart attack-basically the typical panic attack symtoms. However, everything has gotten worse. I used to worry about going "crazy" one day or hearing voices. I would look for all the signs-I would just obsess about it.
Then all of it went away. My boyfriend broke up with me and a nasty guy and I hooked up at a party. Then my boyfriend and I got back together. THEN all of this went crazy....one day in class, I said to myself-Well I don't like that guy at the party-he was so gross and I realized I shouldn't be so dependent in a relationship then I came to some random conclusion-WHAT IF I'M A LESBIAN????????????? However, I know this is not true. I've been obsessing about this for two months and I'm not even joking, it's a fear. I don't even like girls or desire to be with one but everyday I just get myself worked up about it and it taking over all of my thoughts. I hate it. I can't stop worrying and I know this is completely IRRATIONAL.
My therapist suggested I take lexapro but I really don't want to. I want to tackle this on my own. I really do. I just want these worries to go away but I can't shake them off. It's like worrying has become some security blanket for me. If I don't worry then I freak out because I wonder-well what do I think about next? How do I act? I've become so self conscious, I feel like I've lost the old me and I'm so frustrated that I've been consumed in this silly worry.
Then all of it went away. My boyfriend broke up with me and a nasty guy and I hooked up at a party. Then my boyfriend and I got back together. THEN all of this went crazy....one day in class, I said to myself-Well I don't like that guy at the party-he was so gross and I realized I shouldn't be so dependent in a relationship then I came to some random conclusion-WHAT IF I'M A LESBIAN????????????? However, I know this is not true. I've been obsessing about this for two months and I'm not even joking, it's a fear. I don't even like girls or desire to be with one but everyday I just get myself worked up about it and it taking over all of my thoughts. I hate it. I can't stop worrying and I know this is completely IRRATIONAL.
My therapist suggested I take lexapro but I really don't want to. I want to tackle this on my own. I really do. I just want these worries to go away but I can't shake them off. It's like worrying has become some security blanket for me. If I don't worry then I freak out because I wonder-well what do I think about next? How do I act? I've become so self conscious, I feel like I've lost the old me and I'm so frustrated that I've been consumed in this silly worry.