Chris1989
11-06-2012, 10:36 AM
Hi, I'm new to the forum and I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place. But here goes. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 10/11, OCD with mainly mental manifestations after visiting a Cathedral with school and they took us down to the crypts (they weren't supposed to). Basically there were some preserved dead bodies on show and it completely freaked me out and I became obsessed with death, I've had a massive fear of death all throughout my life (now 22). My OCD and anxiety has had many twists and turns becoming fear of death, then health anxiety, then fear of my sexuality spontaneously changing etc etc. Now I come onto present day.
My 23 yr old cousin died this year, April. We were quite close and its really knocked me about. I went through CBT about a year ago and it cured me, for the most part. Since my cousin died my health anxiety has made a massive comeback. I was convinced I had bowel cancer all summer after seeing tomato in stool (sorry it's graphic) this was subsided by stool blood test etc showing I was fine but I was still convinced I had it for months after due to constantly being on the toilet, which proved to be from all the worrying, then convinced I had Leukemia because I was bruising easily, from what I think I have now worked out that it was caused by my Steroid inhaler (I have moderate Asthma which I have to control daily with steroid inhalers but only started taking them readily this summer because for all my life before I was convinced the steroid within them would give me heart problems and I've already had a 8-12 month stint of worrying about my heart which lead to multiple ECGs and an ECHO of the heart which solved my worry, this came from heart palpitations which again came from my anxiety). Right now I'm convinced I'm developing Dementia.....at 22 years old....I know right..... Basically I had a lot of Brain Fog while in CBT, it felt like I blew a fuse and was so worn out from worrying my brain seemed to overload and just become numb to everything, this went away but I don't remember how I got it to go away. This brings me onto my current problem.
I am experiencing a lot of Brain Fog and poor memory. This began about 6 weeks ago when I finally accepted I didn't have Leukemia after numerous trips to the doctor and blood tests etc, I have a very good family doctor and hes very patient with me. Since then I wake up exhausted, worse than when I went to bed, I feel like a cloud is in my brain and I'm finding it hard to think clearly and remember like I used to (I've always had a very good memory) I can't seem to get a good nights sleep I keep waking up knackered and needing more and more sleep regardless of the amount. Whats making this worse is that because I think I have Dementia, 10-20 times a day I take 5 and try and remember EXACTLY what I have done today and yesterday and the day before etc etc and when I can't remember something I freak out and worry even more, for example I took out my lip stud last night, can't remember why and it freaked me out as to why I took it out and couldn't remember. I know no one is able to remember absolutely EVERYTHING they do in the day but right now I'm at my whits end and don't want to end up back in therapy as all this came about after my cousins death.
I would appreciate any help someone can give with this situation, with beating Brain Fog and trying to convince me I'm not losing my mind at 22 yrs old, this has reduced me to tears many times and I don't know how to convince myself I don't have Dementia and that my OCD has been at a massive high this summer and this seems to be another part of it.
I'm sorry for the waffling but there's a lot going on in my head right now.
Thanks in advance, Chris.
My 23 yr old cousin died this year, April. We were quite close and its really knocked me about. I went through CBT about a year ago and it cured me, for the most part. Since my cousin died my health anxiety has made a massive comeback. I was convinced I had bowel cancer all summer after seeing tomato in stool (sorry it's graphic) this was subsided by stool blood test etc showing I was fine but I was still convinced I had it for months after due to constantly being on the toilet, which proved to be from all the worrying, then convinced I had Leukemia because I was bruising easily, from what I think I have now worked out that it was caused by my Steroid inhaler (I have moderate Asthma which I have to control daily with steroid inhalers but only started taking them readily this summer because for all my life before I was convinced the steroid within them would give me heart problems and I've already had a 8-12 month stint of worrying about my heart which lead to multiple ECGs and an ECHO of the heart which solved my worry, this came from heart palpitations which again came from my anxiety). Right now I'm convinced I'm developing Dementia.....at 22 years old....I know right..... Basically I had a lot of Brain Fog while in CBT, it felt like I blew a fuse and was so worn out from worrying my brain seemed to overload and just become numb to everything, this went away but I don't remember how I got it to go away. This brings me onto my current problem.
I am experiencing a lot of Brain Fog and poor memory. This began about 6 weeks ago when I finally accepted I didn't have Leukemia after numerous trips to the doctor and blood tests etc, I have a very good family doctor and hes very patient with me. Since then I wake up exhausted, worse than when I went to bed, I feel like a cloud is in my brain and I'm finding it hard to think clearly and remember like I used to (I've always had a very good memory) I can't seem to get a good nights sleep I keep waking up knackered and needing more and more sleep regardless of the amount. Whats making this worse is that because I think I have Dementia, 10-20 times a day I take 5 and try and remember EXACTLY what I have done today and yesterday and the day before etc etc and when I can't remember something I freak out and worry even more, for example I took out my lip stud last night, can't remember why and it freaked me out as to why I took it out and couldn't remember. I know no one is able to remember absolutely EVERYTHING they do in the day but right now I'm at my whits end and don't want to end up back in therapy as all this came about after my cousins death.
I would appreciate any help someone can give with this situation, with beating Brain Fog and trying to convince me I'm not losing my mind at 22 yrs old, this has reduced me to tears many times and I don't know how to convince myself I don't have Dementia and that my OCD has been at a massive high this summer and this seems to be another part of it.
I'm sorry for the waffling but there's a lot going on in my head right now.
Thanks in advance, Chris.