gmb1
11-03-2012, 02:21 PM
Hi all,
This is my first thread posting here after scouring the net is desperation. I've been suffering with intrusive thoughts for about a year after my baby was born (I'm male) and its just ruining every aspect of my life. I don't know what started it but I simply can't stop myself having distressing, upsetting and really really disturbing thoughts that literally plague my day and leave me wanting to cry all the time. It's exhausting and scary. They always involve my baby getting hurt and normally in my head its me that's caused it. I'd never ever ever hurt a child but its though the worst nightmares I can have decide to jump into my head as though I'm watching from a third person perspective. All the normal anxiety symptoms like nervous sick feelings, tingling hands, shortness of breath and elevated heart rate all join the experience too.
I've been to see a counsellor but I worry that she mistakes the fear and utter horror of the feelings for some kind of urge to hurt my child or somebody else (just a feeling I get when I talk to her) she's always very interested in talking about my childhood and this leaves me frustrated as i can't see the relevance.
It's got to the stage that I sometimes think it would be better all round if somebody else was my babies dad as while these panic type attacks exist, I can't give my everything into being a dad.
I was hoping this experience might be familiar to somebody?
This is my first thread posting here after scouring the net is desperation. I've been suffering with intrusive thoughts for about a year after my baby was born (I'm male) and its just ruining every aspect of my life. I don't know what started it but I simply can't stop myself having distressing, upsetting and really really disturbing thoughts that literally plague my day and leave me wanting to cry all the time. It's exhausting and scary. They always involve my baby getting hurt and normally in my head its me that's caused it. I'd never ever ever hurt a child but its though the worst nightmares I can have decide to jump into my head as though I'm watching from a third person perspective. All the normal anxiety symptoms like nervous sick feelings, tingling hands, shortness of breath and elevated heart rate all join the experience too.
I've been to see a counsellor but I worry that she mistakes the fear and utter horror of the feelings for some kind of urge to hurt my child or somebody else (just a feeling I get when I talk to her) she's always very interested in talking about my childhood and this leaves me frustrated as i can't see the relevance.
It's got to the stage that I sometimes think it would be better all round if somebody else was my babies dad as while these panic type attacks exist, I can't give my everything into being a dad.
I was hoping this experience might be familiar to somebody?