Jack Cake Probyn
11-01-2012, 09:46 AM
sorry if you cant read this english not great today..
everyday I suffer from feeling alone craped where I think everyone against me eve my best of friends my family even people who love and care for me I think there going to hurt me suffering from panic attacks to the extreme wanting to throw up it gets that bad not eating can effect it to or over eating your mood swings change you dont sleep either, your vision starts to fuck up you hear voices people saying stuff to you. you slowly start to go in depression because of it all you hate yourself more and more because your pushing yourself away from everyone not wanting to hurt or yell just to make sure they stay in your life even if you push them so far away you dont mean to. biggest thing of all is over. showing everyone you are fine so they dont have to worry being that far away from the edge of the road and thinking do I? or dont I? slowly stepping away because you get that text from the person knowing you just hurt them more..wanting to help others so they are happy and you feel better about yourself helping them being nice so people dont throw hate at you…but still having that pain thinking it not bovvering me but it is if others suffer like me then message me I just want someone to understand </3
that it makes me feel even worse is seem to fuck people around hurt whoever I meet yell at people, scream, shout, make them feel crap, listening to my shit when all I fucking tend to do is push them away urgh FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR IT! I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO NOT EVEN SAY ANYTHING JUST HUG ME…SAY IT GOING TO BE OKAY…being able to feel say not wanting to say anything stupid the scary feeling of being so valeruable not wanting to say anything to anyone because your just so scared they might slash out at you…or just run and never come back..the puppy that people say there sat waiting to catch me…I just dont see it I just dont see how amazing I am how much of a nice sweet person I am.
ALL I EVER DO IS PUSH PEOPLE AWAY OR JUST END UP BEING QUITE…when you want to tell someone everything how your feeling why your feeling how your feeling tell them just everything then you think you should you step back think…I just cant put that purrsure on them I just cant I just SWEAR…I HOPE I WILL BE OKAY BECAUSE THIS IS GETTING TOO MUCH…
everyday I suffer from feeling alone craped where I think everyone against me eve my best of friends my family even people who love and care for me I think there going to hurt me suffering from panic attacks to the extreme wanting to throw up it gets that bad not eating can effect it to or over eating your mood swings change you dont sleep either, your vision starts to fuck up you hear voices people saying stuff to you. you slowly start to go in depression because of it all you hate yourself more and more because your pushing yourself away from everyone not wanting to hurt or yell just to make sure they stay in your life even if you push them so far away you dont mean to. biggest thing of all is over. showing everyone you are fine so they dont have to worry being that far away from the edge of the road and thinking do I? or dont I? slowly stepping away because you get that text from the person knowing you just hurt them more..wanting to help others so they are happy and you feel better about yourself helping them being nice so people dont throw hate at you…but still having that pain thinking it not bovvering me but it is if others suffer like me then message me I just want someone to understand </3
that it makes me feel even worse is seem to fuck people around hurt whoever I meet yell at people, scream, shout, make them feel crap, listening to my shit when all I fucking tend to do is push them away urgh FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR IT! I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO NOT EVEN SAY ANYTHING JUST HUG ME…SAY IT GOING TO BE OKAY…being able to feel say not wanting to say anything stupid the scary feeling of being so valeruable not wanting to say anything to anyone because your just so scared they might slash out at you…or just run and never come back..the puppy that people say there sat waiting to catch me…I just dont see it I just dont see how amazing I am how much of a nice sweet person I am.
ALL I EVER DO IS PUSH PEOPLE AWAY OR JUST END UP BEING QUITE…when you want to tell someone everything how your feeling why your feeling how your feeling tell them just everything then you think you should you step back think…I just cant put that purrsure on them I just cant I just SWEAR…I HOPE I WILL BE OKAY BECAUSE THIS IS GETTING TOO MUCH…