AntPid89
10-31-2012, 06:17 AM
Hello everyone this is my first post on this forum. i was just hoping to find someone who can help me recognise the problems im having and i suppose DIAGNOSE them in a way.
About year ago i started to have panic attacks these were a first for me in my life and was completely unsure of what it was that was happening to me, as i was over weight i presumed it was because of that. they then started to increase and then other things started to happen to me. this is what im here for i would like to no if its all anxiety symptoms or if i have another illness.
for about 8 months now i have really obsessive thoughts. It started off with i need to kill my girlfriend which i was really scared about i didn't see why i was thinking like this for no reason. i thought i was going to end up in prison for murder or something, i used to think this constantly from the moment i woke till the time i went to sleep. i used to sit there all day begging it to be time where i can get it bed and just stop all this. i slowly got over that not completely but they just wasn't as often, now for the past couple days its aim is now at my parents. i think i need to kill my parents. i imagine how id do it which is something i try to stop myself from thinking but just don't seem able to.
Ino reading this some people will think that im seriously disturbed but i'm just a normal 23 year old bloke and i have no desire to do these things like i imagine serial killers would, its not something i fantasise about doing in a sexual or even none sexual way. i just cant seem to stop it. i love my girlfriend and obviously love my parents but there is just something inside my head that thinks these things. in the day time i can mostly just shrug it off and think that's ridiculous but on the night its a major player in my thought process. again its not a desire to do it, its just my mind thinking about doing it. i suppose the only example i can give is like when a relative has a baby you want to just squeeze it don't you because of how cute the baby is but you don't squeeze because obviously you'll hurt them. i no that's a rubbish example that doesn't really explain but im just really trying to get across that i have not one desire to kill anyone in the world never mind my partner or family. i just have the thoughts.
Another thing i feel which is probably related to the previous is when there is a terrible thing happened. like recently that man who killed his partners grandchild i seem to think what about if i end up like that. or paedophiles, murderers, rapists anything terrible i hear about my mind think what about if i end in prison for doing this terrible things. its such a difficult thing for me to write all this because as i said up until a year ago i was just a 'normal' lad going about day to day life. now i have all these problems and i would like to no if its all anxiety based. or if i'm at the starting stages of being a psychopath.
Thank-you for your time in reading this i no its long but i just needed to get it all out. i have other weird symptoms i can think of as well i just don't want to make this post to long for people. thank-you again
About year ago i started to have panic attacks these were a first for me in my life and was completely unsure of what it was that was happening to me, as i was over weight i presumed it was because of that. they then started to increase and then other things started to happen to me. this is what im here for i would like to no if its all anxiety symptoms or if i have another illness.
for about 8 months now i have really obsessive thoughts. It started off with i need to kill my girlfriend which i was really scared about i didn't see why i was thinking like this for no reason. i thought i was going to end up in prison for murder or something, i used to think this constantly from the moment i woke till the time i went to sleep. i used to sit there all day begging it to be time where i can get it bed and just stop all this. i slowly got over that not completely but they just wasn't as often, now for the past couple days its aim is now at my parents. i think i need to kill my parents. i imagine how id do it which is something i try to stop myself from thinking but just don't seem able to.
Ino reading this some people will think that im seriously disturbed but i'm just a normal 23 year old bloke and i have no desire to do these things like i imagine serial killers would, its not something i fantasise about doing in a sexual or even none sexual way. i just cant seem to stop it. i love my girlfriend and obviously love my parents but there is just something inside my head that thinks these things. in the day time i can mostly just shrug it off and think that's ridiculous but on the night its a major player in my thought process. again its not a desire to do it, its just my mind thinking about doing it. i suppose the only example i can give is like when a relative has a baby you want to just squeeze it don't you because of how cute the baby is but you don't squeeze because obviously you'll hurt them. i no that's a rubbish example that doesn't really explain but im just really trying to get across that i have not one desire to kill anyone in the world never mind my partner or family. i just have the thoughts.
Another thing i feel which is probably related to the previous is when there is a terrible thing happened. like recently that man who killed his partners grandchild i seem to think what about if i end up like that. or paedophiles, murderers, rapists anything terrible i hear about my mind think what about if i end in prison for doing this terrible things. its such a difficult thing for me to write all this because as i said up until a year ago i was just a 'normal' lad going about day to day life. now i have all these problems and i would like to no if its all anxiety based. or if i'm at the starting stages of being a psychopath.
Thank-you for your time in reading this i no its long but i just needed to get it all out. i have other weird symptoms i can think of as well i just don't want to make this post to long for people. thank-you again