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View Full Version : the critical factor in the recovery of Social Phobia



heixi.jacky
04-12-2007, 07:05 AM
All could never be eliminated.
Social phobia has the following symptoms: nervous , glance, shyness, blush face, bad expression, panic of space, stutter etc, compulsion, anxiety, insomnia, doubt, eating difficulty , all these symptoms……could not be eliminated, when you start to understand these and learn to adapt yourself to them, live with them, accept them from the bottom of your heart, and never try to repel them, it will fade away gradually. Now let me detail the reason.
In Buddhism there is a maxim: Trouble is Yourself i. Taoism also makes a metaphor : a jar of pure water ,It looks perfect, but virtually it is poisonous water , the shrimp and fish can not survive in it, it is just dead water. Now, you can throw a handful of earth and mud into the water. Superficially it’s dirty and no longer perfect, and also it looks bad, but there is nutrition from then on, it can breed shrimp and fish! It becomes vital water full of life. So , imperfection is the real perfection.
And all the symptoms of the neurosis are almost the same! Nervousness , glance, shyness, flush, uncomfortable expressions, space panic, stutter ect, compulsion, anxiety, panic, insomnia, doubt, eating disorder, concept and behavior, all of the symptoms……these are just like earth, mud, which make our water dirty and imperfect. Actually the core of them are normal, but they are distorted and strengthened by our continuous push and repel. Just because they normal mood , they are part of ourselves. So they could not be removed essentially. Without them, we would be really abnormal. Those normal persons are always the dirty water full of vitality, who have all these symptoms, but they never care about them, naturally they have never strengthen or enhance them.
But we are not like those “careless” persons, we are so sensitive about them. Can you remember when you came up with these symptoms for the first time? They were rational to appear at that time actually, and most normal persons would come up with these symptoms as well, but they would forget them quickly because either their life is so busy or their character is so broad-minded. But we act in different way , maybe as we are too sensitive, and our self distrust and perfectionism mislead us . we are too careful, the environment we are living with render us such a over-sensitive personality. We care about them seriously, and we do think these ideas or reactions are abnormal, we want to get rid of them which are actually normal. Of course we can not get rid of them, we cannot defeat the normal part of ourselves. This is the essence of all the mental conflict: we want to defeat the normal part of ourselves, we want to escape from ourselves. After long-time repelling, concentrating, fighting with those normal mood or, to be more accurate, ourselves. We are getting more and more sensitive about these, and we are more preoccupied by those normal mood which has already been distorted by us. Therefore, they will gradually form a distorted and obstinate “excitement point” in our mind and occupy the our whole mental world.
Several years later, the normal person who once came across the same feelings as we has already forgotten the “bad experience”, the “excitement point” has been transferred to some healthy things such as job and life. But we, during these years, has formed a distorted and inveterate “excitement point” which is similar to cigaretholic and drugholic., who formed this “excitement point”, we ourselves! We repel it, so we strengthen it! The more we repel it, the more we strengthen it! We focus all our attention on it, these attention are nutrition to this “excitement point”, which makes it so powerful and beyond our control.
If we hadn’t supply nutrition to this “excitement point” through our efforts and attention for so many years, such excitement point would have already disappeared. So it’s we ourselves who lead to the formation and enhancement of this excitement point, and once the excitement point is strengthened ,they will affect our physiology, they will affect our behavior and action, then we will be more and more nervous, more and more panic beyond our control , and on the other side, the more nervous we are, the harder we will press and repel our normal mood, so the more attention and nutrition would be given to that excitement point, the more powerful and uncontrollable it will be .Therefore, with this vicious circulation, we will fall deeper and deeper into the abyss of Phobias. I call it Amplifier Principle. That is to say, the essence of these symptoms is normal, but we amplify them by using the amplifier, they may seem abnormally big, but they are essentially the same as normal mood, Buddhism call this phenomenon:” real dream”
So, you can see, we are wrong at the very beginning . It is said by Laozi (Taoism) : the farther you go, the less you know.( means: the more efforts you make to approach your target, the farther you are away from it ) we can explain this phenomenon by using this theory. Originally, all the things are normal . When we want to remove what is originally normal., we supply energy to it, we shift our attention to it, we concentrate to it, we provide nutrition to it, all of these make the normal thing bigger and bigger , more and more powerful and abnormal finally. As the old saying goes ”we are worrying about what we don’t need to.” Another philosophy remark also tells us: problem lies in the solution.( originally it’s not a problem, but you want to do something to it in order to solve it, then it becomes a problem.) so we can say that all of the neurosis are existing because of “treatment”. In the first place, it is not a neurosis at all, when we want to “treat” it, we ourselves make it evolve into neurosis..
Then all is clear. The so called symptoms are normal! So we should understand after so many years: all these can not be removed, give up all the efforts to treat it. No way is workable, do not repel it anymore. It is just your repelling that maintains these symptoms. So please try to understand it and apply yourself to it and accept them from the bottom of your heart, do not repel it anymore, then after some time , it will disappear. When you can understand these fully, your neurosis is recovered to some extent.
Actually all is normal, and there is no need to eliminate the normal things! Actually we have been thinking to get rid of it which leads to the maintenance of these symptoms! I think, this is the reason why great Mr. Morita (father of Morita Therapy) told us” let it be, do what you need to do”.

heixi.jacky
07-27-2007, 02:20 AM
any question is welcomed

drunkfool
07-28-2007, 09:12 PM
I always worry about people staring at me. Is that a sign of social anxiety?

heixi.jacky
07-29-2007, 08:38 PM
actually every person would be somewhat worried of being stared, if you take it as a serious problem, and pay close attention to it, wanting to eliminate such originally normal reaction,then it tends to become more severe, and become social phobia.

so whether it is social phobia is decided by:
1. severity
2.how long it lasted

Jeordie
07-31-2007, 04:58 PM
Thanks a lot for this wisdom. I can confirm it is the path of recovery: I became depressed when my doctor told me I was. It was over when I stopped thinking I was ill.

Nothing more than neurosis is about memory and perception.