My instencts were right

[anxious123]

So my therapist tells me today that my constant anxiety about my fiancée comes from all my past relationships and the way they and my father treated me. I had a hunch I felt maybe if they all did me dirty then so will he but this isn't true, he has never been anything but a wonderful man to me and our next session will be trying to get past all of that. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[dazza]

Makes sense.

Our brains are funny old things, they tend to remember bad stuff from the past in a way we are not consciously aware of.
It's only when we develop anxiety issues that this historic bad stuff is brought to the surface.

A petty argument I had with the missus some months ago led to some palpitations later on that night.
Why?
I'll tell ya... it re-surfaced some long, buried memories of arguments with a past girlfriend (with whom I was completely unsuited) and with whom I had a pretty rough time with.

My traumered past was subconsciously connected with my present, which set off some anxiety and fear of the same thing happening again.
Didn't realise this at the time, it was only when a therapist highlighted it that it made sense.

Well done for addressing this.

[anxious123]

Thanks :) I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere!!! Now I must leave the past the past and enjoy my present and my future, I have a amazing man and I am ready to enjoy that.

[dazza]

Exactly... and you must remember that not everyone is the same.
Not all men are bad eggs.

However, while we're on this subject - we should not rule out the fact that it is often partially or even wholly the fault of the so called victim, why things turned out the way they did.
I.e. some people seem inherently attracted to BAD types, so in a sense, they are making a rod for their own back.

When choosing partners, people should be a little more vigilent & sensible in their choices.

I'm not saying you were at fault, I'm just making a general observation.

[anxious123]

I was for the most part good to them they just couldn't stay faithful or keep their hands to them selves I was at fault for one thing.... And that was allowing them to do what they did to me for so long, I'm stronger now and know what I deserve I'm a damn good woman and I deserve a damn good man, who appreciates me! It's all in the past time to move on.