Please help

[confusedkid]

Hi people I think I am just starting to develop an anxiety disorder. I am 16 years old and do not like things to stop my goals in life. Within the last year I have been feeling worried about things that have happenend in the past. It wasn't that bad at first, and I didnt notice it getting worse over time so I just keep ignoring it like most of you probably did in the begining. Later on I started to notice that it was getting worse after I smoked marajuana. I would get worse during the weeks after I smoked. I told myself I would never do it again, but being a kid and not knowing that something like this could happen to me, I smoked one last time. Now my anxiety is becoming way worse and has actually kept me up during the night. I have been researching what is wrong with me and have not told anyone at all that something is wrong with me yet. What I havent mentioned is that my father too suffers from anxiety and depression. I never thought it would happen to me since I always felt like a normal kid until now. I do not live with my mom and I should probably seek help soon but I dont want my dad to know. My question is, will telling my dad that I have anxiety too make him feel worse. Im worried he will feel its his fault and get more depressed about the situation. I think I read somewhere that it can be passed down to kids so that is what im thinking has happened to me.

I know in my head that what im going through isnt actually real im just imanging it which works very well and is what I do for now when I feel bad.

This is very hard for me I need some outside help besides my own personal thoughts! Thanks for your time and good luck to you as well.

[V for Victor]

Confusedkid, I'm sorry this is happening to you. But you should know that anxiety/depression is indeed hereditary, and it often begins to show up in the teen years. That's what happened to me. (I'm 18 now.) Mine started to come about when I was around 13 or 14, and has been with me since.

Also, marijuana can actually make anxiety worse, and add to it, so I'd advise not smoking anymore, if you haven't dropped it already. However, don't be too hard on yourself, because it isn't the sole cause of your anxiety.

The good news is that you've caught this early on, and that there are ways to control it and get on with your life.

As they say, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. It would be good if you could tell your father that you do have anxiety and depression. He may already be able to tell, having had it for so long himself. My mom has anxiety/depression, and she has felt bad about me having it from time to time, but the truth is it's not her fault. It's not your dad's fault, either.

Nobody choses to have this, and nobody can purposely give it somebody else. What we CAN choose is to overcome it, if we really want.

When you're ready, you should tell your dad. If he becomes upset, let him know that you don't blame him and that it isn't his fault. Anxiety is just one of many problems that can run in families. Bad eyesight runs in some families, anxiety runs in others. It doesn't mean you're crazy, you just have a glitch in your brain. :)

So how to fix this? There are many, many ways to beat anxiety/depression. If it's getting to the point that it's keeping you up at night and getting in the way of your life, it's time to take action. The first step should be to talk to a doctor/therapist about these issues. From there, they may urge you to try some medication (not a bad thing,) or they might suggest something like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Or even those two things combined!

I suggest doing some more research to see what type of anxiety you have, whether it's Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obessive Compulsive Disorder, or so on. What are some of the things you worry about, specifically?

Don't be too discouraged. I know it seems like a tough mountain to climb, but as you get more and more experienced with dealing with anxiety, it gets easier. :)

[confusedkid]

I think my anxiety is caused from personal family incident with my younger brother, which I have not told to my father yet and am so worried about I cant tell him. This is probably the first step to fixing my problem. And then the marajuana use has made it worse and so I have been looking up what is wrong with me. I read about schizophrenia and everytime I go to bed I worry that im going to develop it. So those two things are what have been bothering me lately.

[V for Victor]

I wouldn't worry about schizophrenia. Don't let your anxiety become overblown. I used to think that I was just plain crazy until I learned about what I had.

What was the incident with your younger brother, if it's not confidential?

[confusedkid]

It is kind of confidential, but when it happenend I did not know it was wrong(was 12). Now that I am older I know it is bad. I saw it on the internet and no one told me it was bad so I didnt have a clue...

[kevin]

It is kind of confidential, but when it happenend I did not know it was wrong(was 12). Now that I am older I know it is bad. I saw it on the internet and no one told me it was bad so I didnt have a clue...

well if you didnt know it was wrong, then why are you still beating yourself up for it? get over it.

[V for Victor]

There are times when getting over it is easier said than done. But, I think it's the right idea: To realize you did make a mistake, and to leave it in the past.

Don't blame yourself too much for something you didn't realize was wrong. If not having told your father what happened for so long is what you think may be causing you distress, you should come to terms with that and tell him. As long as it was something that you didn't know was wrong, and as long as it's not something you're proud of, you shouldn't keep bury it and just try to forget about. Telling your dad may help you move on.

I kept a very dark secret throughout most of my life until just a year or so ago when I finally told my mom and my closest friends. When I finally opened up and let go of my secret, I was able to finally distance myself from it and no longer hold it so close. Now I've moved on, and it's no longer a cause of depression/anxiety.