acegoodie
10-22-2012, 07:10 PM
Hi I’m new at talking about my anxiety so please bear with me. I have a fear of developing schizophrenia ever since seeing the reports of the Colorado movie theatre shooter. It scared me into thinking about what could possibly have caused someone to do that to innocent people. This prompted me to read up on schizophrenia as they mentioned it in the news reports. I soon realized how many symptoms I have in common. I cannot relate to anything of hearing voices or having hallucinations at all, but I worry about the other symptoms. I am not delusional and I can identify with reality and perceptions.
However, recently I am struggling with more difficulty speaking fluently in an organized manner and getting all my thoughts out. Even writing this I am trying my best not to be “scattered brain” and jump around from thought to thought. I have always been a little socially awkward and experience difficulty holding a conversation. When I’m talking it can be difficult for me to think of an appropriate response quickly. I might also struggle for the right word mid-sentence. It has always been a minor inconvenience, but seems to be getting worse the more I panic about it. I can think logically and am usually level headed unless I start worrying.
Lately it seems I am having trouble remembering and concentrating. There are times I can be in the shower thinking about something and actually forget whether or not I just washed my hair! I am under stress from situations in life and the concern of this is adding more to it. I’m not familiar with much anxiety(or severely fearing a condition at least) as this is new to me. I recognize my speech sounds monotone and not as chipper as I use to be. I’m very concerned. Recently I have been having unwanted and racing thoughts which I cannot control. I have never had this before and it scared me badly when it first happened.
There are times when I am becoming VERY nervous or anxious for no reason at all, usually at night. I also have been waking up feeling nervous about nothing specific. I can try to think logically and once I’m up and about doing something I start to feel better but I still might have butterflies in my stomach for a while.
I have become aware of the fact that I share some characteristics of OCD. These are not new to me unlike some of the issues I have mentioned above. I was actually relieved to have read about OCD because I always knew I had odd behaviors, but no idea what it could be. I have certain tics like wanting to click my teeth to a random beat. I get the urge to do things repetitiously or in a certain pattern. I also feel obligated to do something a certain way or else I will be punished. I am also extremely phobic of germs and absolutely must wash my hands before eating (I feel an excessive need to). I am aware these are unreasonable actions and I have mostly become able to overcome the OCD urges or rituals throughout the years. I have always had a slight fear of going out in public, although I have generally been able to overcome that as well.
I am struggling with the fear and anxiety more so than ever have before. I would really appreciate some advice or insight to this. Thank you
However, recently I am struggling with more difficulty speaking fluently in an organized manner and getting all my thoughts out. Even writing this I am trying my best not to be “scattered brain” and jump around from thought to thought. I have always been a little socially awkward and experience difficulty holding a conversation. When I’m talking it can be difficult for me to think of an appropriate response quickly. I might also struggle for the right word mid-sentence. It has always been a minor inconvenience, but seems to be getting worse the more I panic about it. I can think logically and am usually level headed unless I start worrying.
Lately it seems I am having trouble remembering and concentrating. There are times I can be in the shower thinking about something and actually forget whether or not I just washed my hair! I am under stress from situations in life and the concern of this is adding more to it. I’m not familiar with much anxiety(or severely fearing a condition at least) as this is new to me. I recognize my speech sounds monotone and not as chipper as I use to be. I’m very concerned. Recently I have been having unwanted and racing thoughts which I cannot control. I have never had this before and it scared me badly when it first happened.
There are times when I am becoming VERY nervous or anxious for no reason at all, usually at night. I also have been waking up feeling nervous about nothing specific. I can try to think logically and once I’m up and about doing something I start to feel better but I still might have butterflies in my stomach for a while.
I have become aware of the fact that I share some characteristics of OCD. These are not new to me unlike some of the issues I have mentioned above. I was actually relieved to have read about OCD because I always knew I had odd behaviors, but no idea what it could be. I have certain tics like wanting to click my teeth to a random beat. I get the urge to do things repetitiously or in a certain pattern. I also feel obligated to do something a certain way or else I will be punished. I am also extremely phobic of germs and absolutely must wash my hands before eating (I feel an excessive need to). I am aware these are unreasonable actions and I have mostly become able to overcome the OCD urges or rituals throughout the years. I have always had a slight fear of going out in public, although I have generally been able to overcome that as well.
I am struggling with the fear and anxiety more so than ever have before. I would really appreciate some advice or insight to this. Thank you