Ashleigh94
10-22-2012, 08:37 AM
I'm not sure what to do about this whole situation im in.
So this is the year i turned 18 and im supposed to be out ejoying life and being carefree, but halfway through summer i broke my leg and also tore a ligament and this has meant ive had to stay in for two and a half months now and ive got a further month to go. I've always been the 'worrier' even when i was a child but when i was about 16 this became alot worse, i was bullied relentlessly and have gone in and out of depression for just over 3 years now, but with it came anxiety. Ever since this all started ive been trying to build myself up to finally go and get help but i just dont have the nerve, quite literally and staying indoors all day everyday seems to have made things worse.
If i do manage to get out of the house i analyse every single thing thats going to happen and work out what i'll say and do and whether there'll be any difficult situations, if so how ill deal with them etc. Every single day for about two weeks now ive had a really bad headache, i go through periods where my heart beats really fast and too hard, my breathing increases and become difficult, i get tingly arms and legs and light headed to name a few of the symptoms i experience. Recently i went to my new gp about a rash and cut a long story short after talking to her about other problems ive been having she wants me tested for chlamydia and since I've been panicking about stis non stop, Ive only had unprotected sex with one person and that was 3 and a half months ago so I know I need to get tested and I will but I have to wait 6 weeks until I'm physically able to drive again due to y leg. The gp was extremely unhelpful about the rash and really embarrassed me about the chlamydia; I live in a small village whee everyone knows everyone and she was going all round the surgery asking for a test, I was planning on talking to her but after that I burst into tears out of embarrassment and couldn't actually speak at all. I feel totally alone and I no longer feel like there's anyone who can help; my family won't understand and I've had counselling and that didn't help me vey much either.
Another thing that bothers me is of a night time I sit and worry for hours on end and this leads to the symptoms I mentioned above and racing thoughts, really loud in my head and
I don't feel in control of them and sometimes a thought gets stuck and repeats itself over and over it gets so bad I can't concentrate on anything Icant read or watch television and I certainly can't sleep.
I don't even have any friends to talk to about this; I lost them all when I broke my leg because they were no longer interested probably because I was no longer any fun and now they're al over the country at university.
I wish I could just turn off all these thoughts because most of this is all in my head. I feel like giving up completely, because this all seems so hopeless.
If anyone has any advice on how I can move forward or any self help techniques that have helped you, or just anything at all I'd really appreciate t.
So this is the year i turned 18 and im supposed to be out ejoying life and being carefree, but halfway through summer i broke my leg and also tore a ligament and this has meant ive had to stay in for two and a half months now and ive got a further month to go. I've always been the 'worrier' even when i was a child but when i was about 16 this became alot worse, i was bullied relentlessly and have gone in and out of depression for just over 3 years now, but with it came anxiety. Ever since this all started ive been trying to build myself up to finally go and get help but i just dont have the nerve, quite literally and staying indoors all day everyday seems to have made things worse.
If i do manage to get out of the house i analyse every single thing thats going to happen and work out what i'll say and do and whether there'll be any difficult situations, if so how ill deal with them etc. Every single day for about two weeks now ive had a really bad headache, i go through periods where my heart beats really fast and too hard, my breathing increases and become difficult, i get tingly arms and legs and light headed to name a few of the symptoms i experience. Recently i went to my new gp about a rash and cut a long story short after talking to her about other problems ive been having she wants me tested for chlamydia and since I've been panicking about stis non stop, Ive only had unprotected sex with one person and that was 3 and a half months ago so I know I need to get tested and I will but I have to wait 6 weeks until I'm physically able to drive again due to y leg. The gp was extremely unhelpful about the rash and really embarrassed me about the chlamydia; I live in a small village whee everyone knows everyone and she was going all round the surgery asking for a test, I was planning on talking to her but after that I burst into tears out of embarrassment and couldn't actually speak at all. I feel totally alone and I no longer feel like there's anyone who can help; my family won't understand and I've had counselling and that didn't help me vey much either.
Another thing that bothers me is of a night time I sit and worry for hours on end and this leads to the symptoms I mentioned above and racing thoughts, really loud in my head and
I don't feel in control of them and sometimes a thought gets stuck and repeats itself over and over it gets so bad I can't concentrate on anything Icant read or watch television and I certainly can't sleep.
I don't even have any friends to talk to about this; I lost them all when I broke my leg because they were no longer interested probably because I was no longer any fun and now they're al over the country at university.
I wish I could just turn off all these thoughts because most of this is all in my head. I feel like giving up completely, because this all seems so hopeless.
If anyone has any advice on how I can move forward or any self help techniques that have helped you, or just anything at all I'd really appreciate t.