I don't know what's going on anymore.

[feelsoalone]

As the title says I am completely lost. I don't feel like myself anymore and for the past 2 weeks it's been absolute hell. My life doesn't feel real anymore, I can't focus or concentrate on anything, when I talk to people it doesn't even feel like I'm thinking the words just come out of my mouth. I don't feel any emotion and I'm not happy or sad I'm just here. I get these anxiety attacks but the problem is I have absolutely no idea what's causing them. I am in my senior year of high school, I have plenty of friends at school. I work out everyday and have a good relationship with my parents. I eat healthy and I don't do any drugs. The only panic attack I've had before this is when I put 4 tea bags into a cup and I began freaking out really bad after. This was the first time I didn't feel real and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. The next morning I felt fine again, few days later I can't concentrate, don't feel real and don't have any significant emotion. I just finished crying because I want my life back, I just want to be normal again. I have a psychiatric appt monday but until then I'd like to hear from you guys.

What is wrong with me?

[AceParadox]

We feel the same way you do, friend. All we'd like is to be normal again. From what I understand, once you have your first panic attack, the anxiety tends to linger for quite some time as your defenses have been set on high as it has perceived a life-threatning danger or immense fear and it wants to be ready for "It" if "It" occurs again. We basically tricked our brains. My first panic attack was when I went outside one beautiful spring morning, and I decided to sit and relax... I have never meditated before but I decided to try it. I just closed my eyes and took looooong deep breaths, and thought of absolutely nothing. When I "came to" I felt ethereal. When i walked I felt light as a feather, and since it was morning the sun wasn't over the trees yet, the world LOOKED gray to me. This very moment is when I panicked, I thought I had died somehow, I thought I like stopped breathing and just died and I was a ghost or something. When I touched the handle of my door I didn't really feel it. Which led to more panic. And I didn't know this was a panic attack so I ran up to my bedroom and layed in my bed and just FREAKED. Fetal position, trembling. By now I realized, I wasn't dead, but now I felt like I was having a Heart attack! So bam more panic!

This...This is what started it all. Never had any anxiety or anything at all before this...once I had this first panic attack, I was vulnerable to them AND the anxiety that came with it. I experienced derealization just like you, one morning I woke up and felt like I was still dreaming. Nothing felt real. It took my dog farting and nearly knocking me out cold with it (He had eaten cajun leftovers that night) to actually make me realize I wasn't dreaming. I took to the forums and realized it was normal, which comforted me. I no longer get that symptom anymore. If I start to, I just say right away "It's anxiety. Nothing to worry about."

Like forwells suggested, I'd read the stickies here. They were SO helpful to me, and I have progressed very far into recovery WITHOUT the use of any medicines or therapy. Just staying strong and positive, helping others, and just having fun doing things I love and enjoy, relaxing and drinking tea. You can get back to your normal life, it will just take some time. We need to repair ourselves. You will find yourself again little by little. Continue to do things you enjoy, distract yourself from the anxiety as best you can. :] keep us updated and know we're all here to help each other.

[dazza]

Seems like you've had a lot of anxiety / fears / issues / concerns building up over time and now that mass of head-crap has tipped you over the edge, which is what causes anxiety disorder.

Hereon (for a undetermined while), life kinda changes... dramatically in most cases.

When lifes crap gets too much, it effectively becomes a virtual monster within your head. Your brain perceives this as an ACTUAL threat and tirggers fight or flight mode - a biological, reactionary response to the threat.
The unrealism you experience is purely because brain is pre-occupied with dealing with this threat... which makes you feel kinda weird and freaky.
Not harmful at all... just remember what's happening as explained above.