Death in family+ break up with bf= total hell

[tep2007]

Hi guys i feel miserable today.. Im losing my grandma and my bf just broke up with me for good.. He knows exactly what im going through and he still did it.. The reason y is that iv been soo depressed lately cuz my grandma and iv been acting jealous around him.. So he said that he cant take

[tep2007]

Take it nomore.. I cant belive he did this.. How horrible can a person be.. I think is the most fucked up think... Plus he just found out i have an anxiety disorder.. He knows exactly what im going through.. And he called me dumb an a psychopath... Cuz of my disorder.. I never been soo broken hearted.. I really wanna kill myself.. I never felt soo down on my whole entire live.. I really wanna get suicide..

[95f150]

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. Unfortunately these things happen and are unavoidable. It's a good time to be around family.

As far as your boyfriend goes, he doesn't deserve you. That sounds very selfish of him. I know it's 2 hard things at once.

I lost my mother to cancer 3 years ago and it was very hard. Still is. Cope with it day at a time.

Things will look up. One day you will find a man that will be supportive of you and your emotions.

[tep2007]

Its soo hard.. I had 3 panic attacks today.. One after the other.. Its horrible, we have been together for 3 yrs and i never accepted this from him

[AceParadox]

I'm sorry for your loss. And your boyfriend breaking up with you is awful. But it means he's not the one for you, if he sees you struggling with a disorder and just bails out. I can't even imagine how you must feel. But, this is rock bottom that you've hit. Anxiety and panic see that your mind is in the negative, and will capitalize on this opportunity to be an asshole. You've endured three attacks in a row today? Wow! You're strong!! :] I've only ever endured one panic attack in a day and thought that was terrible. 3?! You're like a Spartan! Just taking these relentless waves of shite with a warface like "RAWRRRR" and kicking anxiety in the balls with a Trollface.jpg on.

Death is never the answer though. Your grandma lived her life out, saw many beautiful things, got to see you growing up (and believe me that is the GREATEST thing in the world for a parent or grandparent to watch), I believe she would have wanted you to live out your life too, punch this disorder in the face, conquer it, then move on and see the great things life has to offer. It's dark right now... the rain is pouring down, your world is gray and cold. But when you make the decision to be strong, put on your game face and say "I can do this. I'm stronger than all those other girls. I will fight, I will win! I can walk on water, I can fly, I can do anything. My world is so dark right now, and I'm so hurt and weak... But...I remember happier times, I remember the feeling of the sun on my face and I could just laugh and smile. Lay in the grass and just love life. This is for you Grandma, I will make you so proud, I'm not going to let him dumping me get me down. These panic attacks, psh nothing. Did you see me take those 3 panics in a row? I'm so strong. Time to que 'Eye of the Tiger' and start to make my way up from this hole."

We're stronger than your average person because we've looked fear in the face and stood our ground. We're warriors. I hope this made you smile atleast a little bit... Maybe call some friends to talk to, or talk to some other family members for comfort. Things tend to get worse before they get better, so now... they can only get better :] you just need to believe in yourself. Find some uplifting and inspiring music on youtube. I was having some ugly anxiety when I start typing this message, but the positivity just slapped it in the face and it ran off like a whimpering dog. Can you believe that? Anxiety is like "Oh noes! Positivity, hope, inspiration and optimism, all the things that make me, FEAR ITSELF, shite himself! Ahhhhh!!!!"

Be strong, love. Be strong.

[tep2007]

Cant relax a bit.. I have a 11 hr flight to catch for the funeral.. Dont know wat to do.. This is awful.. I think im gonna have a nervous breakdown.. And im all by myself

[kzac]

Im sorry your feeling so shit, the flight will be ok the thought and build up is always worse than the actual event. You really need to work on relaxing ie relaxation tapes podcast downloads anything! You can keep the full blown attacks at bay because you have been doing it so keep telling yourself that! Whats the worst that can happen you have a panic attack on the plane its not going to kill you and how many times would it of happened before?? Air stewards are prob the best trained to deal with it! Please dont let it get the better of you, get over this flight and the funeral first then deal with your breakup once home dont let it pile up on you one thing at a time!!

Kelly

[tep2007]

Thank you guys soo much for trying to make this easier for me.. U have no idea how good it makes me feel.. God bless all of you.. There is god up there and by looking at this warm post he will bless all of us.. And will help us recover from this horrible sickness...., thank you ones more.. Xoxo

[firefly06]

Like Kzac said, panic attacks suck ass but they will not kill you. They feel like they will but you will still be there when its over. Promise! Take it one thing at a time, get through each hour or day and you will feel stronger when time has a chance to heal. I'm so sorry for your loss(es) and hope you can find some relief and comfort. We are here for you :) even though we are all crazy :))

[tep2007]

We are not crazy at all.. Ppl who try to help each other are not crazy.. We are more normal that we are supposed to be

[firefly06]

I was only kidding :) Me and my sister both have anxiety and call ourselves crazy because its easier than explaining to people all the symptoms and feelings lol

[kzac]

I call myself crazy to , i think it helps me not to take myself or anxiety to seriously. Laughter is a good medicine i know things are really shit for you right now but they will get better so try to make yourself smile for at least 5 mins a day watch a good comedy or something. Writing a diary helped me at the end of every day put pen to paper for everything thats happened and you have felt that day. I find it helps to let it out like that because i am a bottler and bottle it all in!!

Kelly