Self loathing

[cyncyn]

Sometimes I really despise myself and my problems. I'm sitting here feeling horrible cause I gave into anxiety and came to my mothers instead of staying home alone. My husband is upset with and yelled at me that he'll just have to get a third job since I won't stay home alone & how would I work if I can't do that. I feel just awful, I feel hopeless. I feel like I don't have it in me to pick myself again. I get so lonely at home alone, the dog can't keep me company's d

[cyncyn]

Part 2 my app keeps acting up. I feel the hours drag on when I'm alone, I've lost most of my friends and the ones left are at work. My family lives 45mns away and says its too far to visit often. Any case I just feel like shit for what this doing to my husband, I'm afraid he'll abandon me. I was abandoned as a child and my doc says I suffer from PTSD because of it. It's the main feeling to all my anxiety. I feel really f*ed up