Your Safe Person

[ccgurl01]

I was curious to see if anyone here has a safe person (mine is my aunt, I visit her or call when I have extreme panic attacks--she cant stop them but being with her calms me instantaneously). Do you have safe people and do you think it helps your anxiety or hinders you by acting as a crutch? In order words do you think the safety person sometimes serves as an indirect enabler?

[mzstormyuk]

hmm yea when I was a child my aunt was my safe person allthough looking back she is probably part of the reason I suffer with anxiety with some of the things she'd tell me as a child, Most times when In a panic attack I find change of situation helps (a drastic change) or if my kids need me say they are crying that helps. I feal comforted when I am with my BF and kids but when my anxiety is at it's highest (every few days) i find sitting in bed at night watching dvd's or sitting on the lap top is the best thing.

[lancer123]

It is amazing that you posted this question. My thearpist and I just talked about this. My saftey person is my wife. This is caused a bit of struggle for me. I am going through a hard time of getting over depression with a good dose of anxiety about the physical symptoms I am having with depression. The anxiety helps keep the physical symptoms around (dog chaseing the tai). Anyway, my wife left today on a 1 week trip to help her brother move. I stayed at home since I have to work. I was upset with her for leaving because I feel like I need here to help me get through my issues. I know in my mind that its up to me to get better, but have put some burden on her to help me. I known that it is not up to my wife for me to get better, but having her near me sure makes me feel better. I hate to say that she is my crutch, but I am limping without her.
My thearpist is trying to teach me to rely on myself for saftey. It is hard to do since I am emotionally weak right now.

I feel like my wife picked her trip helping her brother move over helping me. However, as she said, there isn't alot she can do for me except be near me. Her brother is moving out of state so I can understand her wanting to help.

Its just hard to agree that she made the right choice since I am emotionally vonerable right now. I must say that I started to relax a little more after she left tonight. Anticipating her leaving may have caused me more anxiety than her actually being gone. I hope this is the case. I really need to start relaxing and getting back on my feet.

My appetite hasn't been around for 12 or 13 days. The doctor thinks this is because of the depression, anxiety, and worry. I started Effexor 11 days ago. Hopefully, this drug will help me :)

Lance

[Bigslick]

I can relate to what both of you are saying entirely. My wife was my safe person but over time I have learned to cope on my own. It is nice to be able to call her on the phone and she also knows how to distract me when I need it. Is that a crutch? Well it certainly felt like it was at one time but now it feels more like help when I need it the most. She can leave for days and I enjoy my alone time. I also take trips with friends. So with better coping skills and perhaps the right medication you won't "need" anybody but yourself. It did take me some time though.

[neverbeenright]

No one is safe! :shock: I feel safest when I'm alone. Man, I need therapy.

[Kitten]

this is a really good topic BTW :)

my safe person?

when i'm anxious it helps to be with other people, it really does. My therapist has told me several times that i should only surrond myself with people that give me energy and that give me, joy, or who calms me. (and avoid people who are engery suckers and who drain me or make my anxiety worse.)

i don't really have one safe person though, but there are people who makes me feel better... my sister, one of my aunts, my BF, and a coulpe of other frinds and my boyF.

[txmom]

My dad is my safe person.
He's been talking me down from my craziness ever since I was a kid.
But lately, I feel like it's no longer that safe to lean on him so much.
I'm 34. He's 55. He's got a life. He's got other things to do that deal with some hysterical middle-aged daughter calling him constantly and bothering him with her irrational concerns.

I'm afraid he's going to stop loving me and cut me out of his life if I bother him with my problems much more.
So I've pretty much stopped. i'm trying to stop, anyway.
Now, no one is safe.

[ojala]

I'm afraid he's going to stop loving me and cut me out of his life if I bother him with my problems much more.
So I've pretty much stopped. i'm trying to stop, anyway.
Now, no one is safe.


as a father speaking, I can honestly say that, a father will never stop loving his daughter. he will ALWAYS love you regardless. therefore, your safe person, continues being there for you. :)