New and Need Some Help and advice

[Amr]

Hello, am 18 and i need help and advice.

It all Started when i was 11 i was just a happy normal kid with no history of abuse and mentally healthy. Until One day i had a Seizure for No Reason while i was entering the toilet. I was shaking badly and it was about 4 am it was dark and very terrifying and i couldn’t feel my lower body. My parents thought am dying. Later next day i went to the hospital and they said low blood pressure is what caused it. They told my parents that i suffer from ptsd from the trauma and i need to go to psychiatric to make sure. But my parents don’t believe in psychiatry so they ignored their advice. Next three years of my life was like Hell i was afraid to enter toilets and elevators alone, sleep alone, stay in the dark, bath alone, and stay alone in ANY PLACE. I was afraid of Ghosts and paranoid with too much stuff. i used to get many flashbacks and i would panic if i heard any noise i don’t know its source i was literally crazy. i used to have Derealization episodes and depressive episodes. And as for the toilet where this incident happened i didn’t approach it for many years :P
But after those 3 years as time moved i started to forget about what Happened and by time i got rid of many symptoms, annoying thoughts, memories and OVERCAME MANY FEARS. i was Making new friends and participating in sports and winning medals and getting good grades again. i Was gaining my life Back again. When I reached 17 was only left with depressive episodes and small fears and trouble dealing with stress. i was so popular in high school a very good athlete and i was happy again.
Until One day a new friend of mine was smoking weed next to me in the car (I don’t smoke or drink) He suddenly panicked he couldn't breathe and freaked badly. I thought he was literally dying I couldn't move or breathe too from the shock it was a very intense experience I was soo scared and terrified. I thought I was Going to die too.
After that happened I as very disconnected from my surroundings and felt very strange and weird feeling I didn’t talk to anyone or go out my heart was pounding and beating fast all the time I had all the symptoms of severe anxiety I used to have full blown panic attacks daily I went into a deep major depression for 5 months plus very severe anxiety, disassociations, Flashbacks most of my fears came back and I had Strong Fear of Death. I went to checkup on my heart 3 times they all came fine I thought I was crazy. I lost most of my friends and failed my last year in school in all the subjects I had no social life.
Now after 8 months am 18 I still feel disconnected and still have anxiety and depression. But I didn’t get panic attacks from almost 2 months and neither I get disassociated lately. I only visited one doctor when I was in Egypt for holiday with my family he told me I have ptsd but I didn’t get any treatment or help because we moved back to Dubai and here doctors are expensive and my parents refuse to take my condition seriously or spend a lot of money on psychiatry . The only thing that has stopped me from substance abuse or suicide or harming myself was I always have a strong relationship with god and am a religious person.

Thank you all for reading and bearing with me till the end. Am sorry if it was to long.

Now plzz tell me what to do or how to convince my parents to take me to a doctor or give me advice in any way. And can anybody relate with me or talk to me I already talked on the chat with helpful people. But I need more plzzzz
God Bless you all.

[lizzie]

Hello first of you are not alone , this is your life now you will allways have this but! You and only you can control this , don't let it control you and it will subside dramatically , now if your parents can't afford therapy , why don't you try and get a job and save the money your self this way you are keeping your self busy as well as archiving earning money and growing more confidence in your self , if not that then try and google c.b.t that stands for congetive behaviour therapy , what this is , is it changes the way you think , it makes you look on all your positive thing in life , you could also buy a book there is some good ones recommended on this forum , here are a few things that I do to keep my mind sane , first I allways keep busy , tidying up , cooking , cleaning , reading , walking. That way your think of what your doing and not what you think might happen .2nd these forums help a lot read throu them , it's reassuring because as you read them you think I have that pain I have that thought , I'm not the only one , 3rd you need to get your social life back see your friends again start hanging out again , 4th. Exercise this is a great one Evan if its a walk . 5th the most important one , is talk to some one a friend or relative . This saying gets me by a lot ( there is allways some one worse off than you ) good luck x x

[Amr]

Hello first of you are not alone , this is your life now you will allways have this but! You and only you can control this , don't let it control you and it will subside dramatically , now if your parents can't afford therapy , why don't you try and get a job and save the money your self this way you are keeping your self busy as well as archiving earning money and growing more confidence in your self , if not that then try and google c.b.t that stands for congetive behaviour therapy , what this is , is it changes the way you think , it makes you look on all your positive thing in life , you could also buy a book there is some good ones recommended on this forum , here are a few things that I do to keep my mind sane , first I allways keep busy , tidying up , cooking , cleaning , reading , walking. That way your think of what your doing and not what you think might happen .2nd these forums help a lot read throu them , it's reassuring because as you read them you think I have that pain I have that thought , I'm not the only one , 3rd you need to get your social life back see your friends again start hanging out again , 4th. Exercise this is a great one Evan if its a walk . 5th the most important one , is talk to some one a friend or relative . This saying gets me by a lot ( there is allways some one worse off than you ) good luck x x

Thank You for Replying, I Tried To work But am currently Repeating my School subjects To get accepted By the university and Hopefully join it on Febraury. Yea am trying to regain my social life back
and as for exercising am Really scared to do any kind of activity like Running or hiting the gym am terryfied when my heart beats faster am really scared. am scared that my heart cant handle the fast heartbeat. plz tell me shall i just hit the gym and workout or wait and checkup on my heart. tell me about your experience when you work out and walk plzzzz.

[lizzie]

That's good to hear u r studying a d trying to get ur social life back , it's a start well done , with the exercise thing , I was scared shit of me having a heart attack at the gym , and that made my heart race faster witch made me think that I was having a heart attack so I found out some facts that might help u, a adults heart race (bp) is between 60 and 80 when you go to the gym ask the instructer what heart rate you should be archiving when exercising , also never just stop exercising u always have to warm down other wise if u just stop ur heart is racing like made and ur just standing there thinking your having a heart attack when u r not , all the thoughts and physical symptoms u are having is just anxcity that is it nothing else a doctor once told me that a person with anxcity has a healthyer heart than a normal person because ours reacts well and is stronger cos we make it beat more when not need too , I hoped this helped x x