Forestwind
10-12-2012, 08:32 AM
Hey guys,i hope you all will read my story and give me any kind of opinion or what ever comes on your mind...so story goes like this
im 18 year old male,i had ''perfect'' life with alot of stress,i was confident,happy and pretty smart...playing sports and having fun..without any anxiety or any illness or sickness,but then i woke up when i was in middle 16 scared and lost,i was so confused that i literally wasnt going up from bed 10 days,i lost alot of weight even though i was pretty skinny(from 70 to 60) and i tryed to ask any friend if they had similar symptoms and they all sad ''no'',my main problem was questions about existing and moving body,i was that confused that i couldnt move my body,ofc i feel it even though i think i dont,but its like im detached from it,its like im on auto pilot,i dont have any physical sensation like racing hearth or sweat or so on...and days were passing by when i talked to my friend whos abit older and she said that im amazingly smart and that this is anxiety,madness and hell in mind of normal person and that one day it will pass,to stay strong and i was like ok but how to be strong when you constantly loosing your mind,you dont know how you breath,you breath automatically...so to skip abit then i started to get used on derealization and confusion and i started to use last energy to auto pilot my life,i got 20 killos of clean muscle,i became amazingly fast,i got driving licence and at 6'1 i started dunking over people in school,became amazingly able to move and all of that in this state of mind,2 years later with many ups and downs,it is back just like first day,main symptom is feeling trapped in head,body and mind,only clear thing that i have is vision..i dont know where are my thoughts,how do i move body even though i move it,i feel that i move it and i move it like i want,even though that planet seems weird shape,not dimensional as it is,i see it as its always but i realise it weird,i know we all have unique symptoms but mine are soooo scary and im loosing my mind all the time but somehow i cant lose it,basically i need your help,write what ever,i havent using medications,i dont have psycosis,i dont here some voices or something like that its all about sensations,in society im looked as supersmart and superathletic but 2 years im going through this hell,madness and confusion...thanks for reading and i hope someone will understand...:(
im 18 year old male,i had ''perfect'' life with alot of stress,i was confident,happy and pretty smart...playing sports and having fun..without any anxiety or any illness or sickness,but then i woke up when i was in middle 16 scared and lost,i was so confused that i literally wasnt going up from bed 10 days,i lost alot of weight even though i was pretty skinny(from 70 to 60) and i tryed to ask any friend if they had similar symptoms and they all sad ''no'',my main problem was questions about existing and moving body,i was that confused that i couldnt move my body,ofc i feel it even though i think i dont,but its like im detached from it,its like im on auto pilot,i dont have any physical sensation like racing hearth or sweat or so on...and days were passing by when i talked to my friend whos abit older and she said that im amazingly smart and that this is anxiety,madness and hell in mind of normal person and that one day it will pass,to stay strong and i was like ok but how to be strong when you constantly loosing your mind,you dont know how you breath,you breath automatically...so to skip abit then i started to get used on derealization and confusion and i started to use last energy to auto pilot my life,i got 20 killos of clean muscle,i became amazingly fast,i got driving licence and at 6'1 i started dunking over people in school,became amazingly able to move and all of that in this state of mind,2 years later with many ups and downs,it is back just like first day,main symptom is feeling trapped in head,body and mind,only clear thing that i have is vision..i dont know where are my thoughts,how do i move body even though i move it,i feel that i move it and i move it like i want,even though that planet seems weird shape,not dimensional as it is,i see it as its always but i realise it weird,i know we all have unique symptoms but mine are soooo scary and im loosing my mind all the time but somehow i cant lose it,basically i need your help,write what ever,i havent using medications,i dont have psycosis,i dont here some voices or something like that its all about sensations,in society im looked as supersmart and superathletic but 2 years im going through this hell,madness and confusion...thanks for reading and i hope someone will understand...:(