Justy
10-10-2012, 03:23 PM
I’m new around here and the first thing I want to say is hello and a big thank you for all the posts I have read on this website. All the shared experience and good ideas have genuinely helped me.
I reckon I’m one of the silent majority who visit this website time after time to build my confidence and to help me truly feel I am not alone in trying to deal with something that is so difficult to talk about and explain, even to people I am close to and love dearly.
It’s a bit of a cliché but unless you’ve experienced this sh1t then it must be awfully hard to understand the absolute feeling of dread people like me experience during an anxiety attack. For me it’s the sense of just wanting to run, stop, resist having that heart attack which is sure to come now (lol), find somewhere quiet where no one else can even see me, or curl up and sleep because that seems the only way to escape the explosion in my mind and body.
I’ve always had a tendency towards anxiety attacks, but didn’t recognise them as such. Then the perfect storm of losing my job, a major personal health problem which put me in hospital, and a close family member having a heart attack all within three months just pushed me over the edge. That was two years ago.
No way was my nervous system gonna cope with that lot! And so the anxiety attacks began. For me they tend to last about three hours or more, creeping up fairly swiftly but taking an achingly long time to subside. Which is one of the annoying things, I can’t just switch them off once they’ve begun whatever I do or think. I think that must be all those fight or flight chemicals needing time to clear out of my system.
And sometimes the trigger seems impossible to pin down, really random, and other times I know exactly what it is, usually related to one of my ‘perfect storm’ issues.
The last couple of weeks have been good, but this was preceded by a month of bad, virtually every day getting an anxiety attack. Which is just so energy sapping isn’t it, I mean you’re knackered at the end of the day anyway, but dealing with this crap just drains you entirely. And during an attack I can’t even think straight, not good when I’m at work and just feel really blunt and foggy.
Here’s some of the stuff I’ve tried:
I tried hypnotherapy and it took a while to really get that I could go to as many sessions as I wanted but they weren’t going to magically cure me, I still have to use my mind and deal with what is happening and summon up an invisible strength to beat my demons. But it did help to focus my mind and relax, and I still listen to a Paul McKenna hypnotherapy CD sometimes which is good.
Camomile tea, oh yes. It might get me some funny looks at the office (I’m a 40-year old man) but who cares, it really does seem to relax and calm my mind. I love it.
Talking to someone close. It can really help if you are lucky enough to feel able to confide in someone. Just to share what’s going on either at the time or later, even if the person has no personal experience of that ‘dread’ feeling really helps me realise I’m not a freak or an idiot. Talking is a major release.
Facing my fears. This is very tough but at some point I do have to face the situations which I am finding hard, as I know doing this repeatedly will normalise them and help rewire my head. But I struggle with certain things related to eating, and my parents (not eating my parents haha). But I’m on my way, and I know this could be a long journey.
Getting a clearer understanding of what’s actually happening inside. The whole fight or flight thing, the fact the stress response system is turned up to full volume and the dial needs turning down, working out a breathing plan that works for me when things get tough (oh my god some of the web advice about breathing out for a count of eight, not breathing for a count of seven and then breathing in for eight – are you kidding me? There’s no way I breathe that slowly even in my calmest dreamiest sleep – so there’s no way in the world I can do that when I’m climbing the walls hahaha).
There's lots more I could add, but these are just some of the things which are starting to help me figure it out, alongside this website of course. PanicCured’s ‘it’s a joke, it’s a bluff’ comment is just a classic and a great perspective. It’s a nasty, horrid condition I have, but sitting here nodding, grimacing, and sometimes chuckling as I read what you all have to say is incredibly reassuring to me. So a heartfelt thank you for sharing and for listening too.
Justy
I reckon I’m one of the silent majority who visit this website time after time to build my confidence and to help me truly feel I am not alone in trying to deal with something that is so difficult to talk about and explain, even to people I am close to and love dearly.
It’s a bit of a cliché but unless you’ve experienced this sh1t then it must be awfully hard to understand the absolute feeling of dread people like me experience during an anxiety attack. For me it’s the sense of just wanting to run, stop, resist having that heart attack which is sure to come now (lol), find somewhere quiet where no one else can even see me, or curl up and sleep because that seems the only way to escape the explosion in my mind and body.
I’ve always had a tendency towards anxiety attacks, but didn’t recognise them as such. Then the perfect storm of losing my job, a major personal health problem which put me in hospital, and a close family member having a heart attack all within three months just pushed me over the edge. That was two years ago.
No way was my nervous system gonna cope with that lot! And so the anxiety attacks began. For me they tend to last about three hours or more, creeping up fairly swiftly but taking an achingly long time to subside. Which is one of the annoying things, I can’t just switch them off once they’ve begun whatever I do or think. I think that must be all those fight or flight chemicals needing time to clear out of my system.
And sometimes the trigger seems impossible to pin down, really random, and other times I know exactly what it is, usually related to one of my ‘perfect storm’ issues.
The last couple of weeks have been good, but this was preceded by a month of bad, virtually every day getting an anxiety attack. Which is just so energy sapping isn’t it, I mean you’re knackered at the end of the day anyway, but dealing with this crap just drains you entirely. And during an attack I can’t even think straight, not good when I’m at work and just feel really blunt and foggy.
Here’s some of the stuff I’ve tried:
I tried hypnotherapy and it took a while to really get that I could go to as many sessions as I wanted but they weren’t going to magically cure me, I still have to use my mind and deal with what is happening and summon up an invisible strength to beat my demons. But it did help to focus my mind and relax, and I still listen to a Paul McKenna hypnotherapy CD sometimes which is good.
Camomile tea, oh yes. It might get me some funny looks at the office (I’m a 40-year old man) but who cares, it really does seem to relax and calm my mind. I love it.
Talking to someone close. It can really help if you are lucky enough to feel able to confide in someone. Just to share what’s going on either at the time or later, even if the person has no personal experience of that ‘dread’ feeling really helps me realise I’m not a freak or an idiot. Talking is a major release.
Facing my fears. This is very tough but at some point I do have to face the situations which I am finding hard, as I know doing this repeatedly will normalise them and help rewire my head. But I struggle with certain things related to eating, and my parents (not eating my parents haha). But I’m on my way, and I know this could be a long journey.
Getting a clearer understanding of what’s actually happening inside. The whole fight or flight thing, the fact the stress response system is turned up to full volume and the dial needs turning down, working out a breathing plan that works for me when things get tough (oh my god some of the web advice about breathing out for a count of eight, not breathing for a count of seven and then breathing in for eight – are you kidding me? There’s no way I breathe that slowly even in my calmest dreamiest sleep – so there’s no way in the world I can do that when I’m climbing the walls hahaha).
There's lots more I could add, but these are just some of the things which are starting to help me figure it out, alongside this website of course. PanicCured’s ‘it’s a joke, it’s a bluff’ comment is just a classic and a great perspective. It’s a nasty, horrid condition I have, but sitting here nodding, grimacing, and sometimes chuckling as I read what you all have to say is incredibly reassuring to me. So a heartfelt thank you for sharing and for listening too.
Justy