Out with one anxiety disorder, in with another

[flagstone]

Hi everyone. I just joined here tonight because I'm needing a bit of advice or even to hear that someone has gone through something similar. Here's my story, i guess.
I'm 21 years old. I suffered from from pretty bad social anxiety disorder from as early as i can remember to about a year and a half ago. The month I turned 20 i finally went to a doctor and got prescribed Paxil, which I have been taking ever since. It worked wonders in the beginning. I was able to get a job and a boyfriend and go shopping and run errands without social anxiety ruining me. My social anxiety is still gone, in fact. I enrolled in community college this semester and I'm able to talk to classmates and teachers without feeling nervous. I hardly remember what social anxiety feels like.

I had my first panic attack about 5 months ago. I've had a few every month since. I feel like it is ruining my life. I live in constant fear of having another. It isn't triggered by anything in particular, although I become more afraid of them at night for some reason. I've read about the fear-adrenaline-fear cycle and becoming more informed has helped me a lot, but I can't shake the anxiety. I'm still taking Paxil, and my doctor upped my dosage from 20 to 30 mg a couple of months ago, but I can't tell a difference. I'm also beginning to feel negatively towards Paxil because I don't feel like myself anymore. Social anxiety, for me, never caused panic attacks. I honestly want to be off of it but I am terrified after reading so many horror stories of withdrawal.

Anyway, I basically feel trapped. I feel like I have everything I need to get better but I can't for some reason. Could it be possible that Paxil has "pooped" out for me? And if it has, why hasn't my social anxiety returned?

[Siegfried]

Hello flagstone! Welcome to the forum.

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Let me see if I have the facts right:

1) you are a long time sufferer from social anxiety;
2) a year or so ago you went to a specialist;
3) he gave you Paxil, you took 20 mg a day and your symptoms subsided;
4) about 5 months ago, some 6/7 months after first taking Paxil, you started having panic attacks;
5) your doc upped the dose to 30 mg, but it hasn't helped.

First, I'd like to tell you that you are not alone. There are many people that have stories similar to yours, and they got over them. So will you. I hope you find help here.

It's not at all likely that it is the Paxil that is bringing about these panic attacks. I say this because when Paxil causes PAs as a side effect, it does so early in the treatment, not blissful months after first taking it.

Tell me, what goes through your head when you're having an attack? What is it that you fear?

Your doc may decide to up your daily dose to 40 mg, a dose that is frequently given to anxiety sufferers. I understand your misgivings about taking Paxil. But it's crucial that you work with your doctor, and never forget that if you were great once, you'll be so again. As to withdrawal, yes it can be hard if not done properly. But if you taper off slowly, there's no reason to fear. And we're here to help you with it. Anyway, it does not look like the right time to quit.

Keep us posted

[flagstone]

Thanks for your response.

What I fear is the panic attack. I'm just terrified of having another panic attack because they leave me in a state of derealization.

I'm terrified of upping my dosage, not only because of the initial side effects but also because I feel like less of myself already, with the dosage i'm on now. I don't genuinely enjoy any of the things I used to enjoy. I don't have passions anymore. It's so sad to me. I know it's because of Paxil. It has helped so much but I've given up parts of myself.

Has anyone ever heard of, when your medicine "poops" out, your anxiety comes back but in a different form like this? Like, maybe, you're afraid of something different than you were when you started the medication?