How to get help, when you are too scared to ask?

[mustangsally]

I serioulsy don't know whats going on with me. My depression and anxiety is slowly consuming me again. I want to start seeing a therapist but ive had nothing but bad luck in the past that I just can't make that initial call. I know what has sparked all this in me again, major job changes, relationship becoming stale again, feeling like I am the only one in the world that feels this horrible on a daily basis. I'm afraid I'm going to become Agoraphobic again. I even stayed home from work today because I just didnt want to go in. If I could find a way to stay home every day and never have to go back to work again I would. I've even gone so far as to look up if getting disability for anxiety and depression is even possible.

My thoughts are all jumbled, I can't think clearly, can't sleep (eventhough I am exhausted), I keep getting sick, my stomach is killing me...ugh why can't I just be normal? I feel like I have no one to talk to. No one understands how horrible I feel, or why I feel like this. I feel like they are just judging me, that they think I'm crazy, and it's all in my head. I should just be able to flip a switch and wake up and love life, be out going, and look forward to the day. But I've never been like that, I don't even know how to look at life with a positive outlook. I feel like all I do is bring people down that are around me. Sorry, for the rambling, but like I said I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. I just wish I had someone to talk to that understood what I was feeling.

[alankay]

Maybe you just need to find the right doc/therapist for you. Have you been on meds before with any decent results?? If counseling has gone nowhere try an MD. I know there are some damn good therapists out there but I trust MD/DO's(GP's that is) the most but still finding the right one for you is key. Much easier said than done but you need to go in an get help sooner than later to start getting better. Alankay

[mustangsally]

I have been on every med imaginable it seems. The one that worked the best for me was Cymbalta but I couldnt increase my dose due to side effects. Then when I tried to go off of them I suffered horrible withdrawls. I've been off of any kind of antidepressant for about 6mo or more. I just recently had to go in and get some Xanax to help with my anxiety. I'm trying REALLY hard to stay off of meds. I don't want to live my life dependant on a pill. I've been looking into a herbal remedy and found that Kava Kava, and 5 HTP have helped with my depression and anxiety.

I just feel like I need something more, ya know. I try to figure things out on my own but it seems going that route only makes it worse on me. I feel stuck and alone.

[MLeFay]

Do you actually have anxiety problems at work? Do you end up leaving jobs because of anxiety, when you don't want to leave them? If you have a record of that you could get disability for anxiety. If you are declined the first time you can try again.

[Rowlz]

The quicker you go for help the easier it'll be to change. The hardest part if asking for help & it's all down to you :) Find the courage I know you will!