Anxiety makes me hate myself and my life

[K-vicious]

Hi all...
I'm 33...I've had panic attacks/anxiety since I was 14 years old.. I feel like every time I get a hold of it, it changes form. I've tried every medication in the book, the only thing that has worked for me was Effexor, and that worked for a few years and then stopped working. Now I'm finding myself becoming scared of everything. It's ridiculous. I'm lying in bed right now and I just can't stop thinking "is the door locked? I should check and see if the door is locked." When it's true, my door probably isn't locked, but it shouldn't even matter. It's 7pm and I live in a great neighborhood. Every day when my boyfriend goes to work I practically hold my breath until he texts me from his job, because I'm afraid he's going to be in a car accident. It's just stupid. and I know it's stupid..but I can't stop. And my boyfriend is amazing, but I know it's frustrating to him too. I just cry because all I want is to be normal. I'm going to schedule myself an appointment with a counselor, but I've been to about 10 throughout the last 10 years and all of them have been a waste. I'm just so tired.

[sam12]

I can relate so much ! I am so fearful of everything ! Heart attacks , death , debt , failure in school , physical pains like stomach aches or headaches you name it! I have been anxious for about four years and recently it has become unbearable . I look at other people and wonder why am I not normal like them , they don't worry about everything . My boyfriend as well is annoyed . In fact , my anxiety has really ruined our relationship of six years . He doesn't love me , we barely talk and are just like roommates , sad how this can affect our lives . I'm always up for any suggestions , I wrote a novel here but want you to know your not alone ! With every year I get older I wonder if ill ever get better myself

[blabby_peach]

Hi k-vicious and sam! I am feeling the same way. A loss of a close relative started it all. I've been having a severe case of health anxiety! I got lightheaded one day and still experiencing it until now. I'm still freaking out and each day is different. Some days are better some days are worse. As I was reading the thread, I realized my anxiety didn't start just a month ago. Guess I have been having this issue for a 8 years now or so. I worry and scared with a lot of things. Mainly, my health and my family's. my husband and my 2 year old son is what's keeping me going. I have a really supportive husband and he tries to understand me be there for me. Like you guys said. Looking at other people makes me wonderif they too are feeling the same. Just wanted to be normal again as we!!