I could not change, what nature created..

[Enduronman]

The real power of the mind/body connection is so strong, so precise, so intertwined, that the commands giving by ones mind to the body can be devastating and crippleing. I did not realize that I couldn't control the total outcome during the processes of surrendering to all of lifes battles as I thought that just deleting them from memory and giving up on planning, tactics, maneuvers to win these battles that I obviously was not as of yet, could cause me to be handicapped and physically disabled. I wondered what I was going to do about this, for the rest of my adult life and the entirity of my future here in this body. I had been pondering, thinking, and planning a future with pain being my best friend and never leaving my side. I wished to perform this process alone, and asked to be left to do so. My request was not obliged nor accepted. There's a reason for everything that happens here, and that reason is now clear to me. That feeling that I had turned off on the 10th of May, has returned to me now..and oddly enough, I feel no pain. I knew that this was the only possible way to continue fighting and winning lifes battles as I had posted in my last thread over 5 hours ago, but I didn't want to allow what nature had created..back in again. The decision was an assisted decision, and I allowed the return of the old me. I fought against nature as long as I could. I couldn't hold out any longer.. I must be, what I was created to be.. A 21st Century Barbarian. It is, what it is..

I'M BACK!

It feels kinda tingly too..COOL!

Enduronman.. :)

[AceParadox]

Though I did not understand much as I have not fully woken up yet, I sensed positive vibes in that post. Thus i will say hurray E! :D

[Enduronman]

Yes..good vibes. Now, my next quest is to change out these catabolic steroids for anabolic steroids so that I can get at least part of my old life back!! I wanna lift weights again, but the joint and muscle damage that I know is there must be re-built! (or at least have chemical assist to help with that this time around).. Off to the Dr. I will go!! :)

E.

[AceParadox]

Was weight lifting one of your old passions?

[jhunter89]

Holy shit! Run for the hills!
Ahhh just kiddin :)

[dazza]

I must admit I get somewhat confused over your situation Mr E.

One post suggests, or "sounds like" you're dying... the next suggest or "sounds like" you're curing.

Some posts are too crypic or perhaps too personal to YOU for me to understand. Almost like a riddle!? lol

[jhunter89]

Mr e... Mystery. Get it? Lol

[dazza]

If it's a mystery, then no... I don't geddit! lol

[AceParadox]

Idk, when I think of E-Man I don't think of mystery, honestly I picture a giant hulk standing triumphantly with a giant bold "E" on his shirt. x.x
hence why when he mentioned lifting weights again, I had to ask if weight lifting was his past passion to confirm my whatever its called.

[jhunter89]

I think of this guy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH44KqA1PPU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

:D

[Enduronman]

I don't mean to be cryptic DazzleBlast! Thanks AceHole, thats so kind of you to envision me as a Super Hero but truth be known I'm a slackjawwed knuckle draggin booger eatin heirlip moron that walks with a gimp and has a 3 legge'd dog named Lucky! and at J89..YES! real bummer when my hair is on fire!

Gotta be REAL careful about what I type around here now..being watched by The Government..

shhhh..

E!

[ananxiousgirl]

Mystery.....really.