Klonopin - going to run out because of recent severe panic and anxiety. Help!

[Unccmike49]

Ok so I lost my job about 2 weeks ago, and I've been taking Klonopin since last spring. He prescribed 120 0.5mg tabs written for 2x twice daily, and up until now I rarely took up to 4 a day. Well since I lost my job my anxiety/stress level has skyrocketed....I've been waking up alot with my heart racing, feeling like I am about to have a heart attack. In fact, I dont wake up but THIS is what wakes me up. And needless to say, I've had to take it more than prescribed. I now have one left and the pharmacy can't fill it until October 7th....ie 8 days. I am TERRIFIED of the withdrawal, which I've been through before, and it is the WORST thing a human being can go through. Talked to my doctor this morning and he said he is not going to authorize any sort of dose change or early refill, basically just told me "too bad". I mentioned that I'm gonna go through withdrawal and it'll get to the point to where I cannot leave the house, and his advice was to go to the hospital, to the ER. I dont have insurance, how am I supposed to afford that?!?? Please help! I'm scared to death and don't know what to do! I'm considering going in tomorrow but it might just turn out to be a waste of time and money.

The worst part about all this is that I have a history of substance abuse, first with opiates then barbiturates. However I can honestly say that since I started taking Klonopin I NEVER abused it. I guess this story sounds like a classic story of abusing it, but like I said, since I lost my job my anxiety level has skyrocketed, and I've many times been on the verge of plunging into a panic attack. I'm just really really REALLY scared right now, and am dreading this upcoming week like never before. Any and all advice would be welcome! Please help!

[Enduronman]

It is this exact type of life experience that you've posted about, that laid the very groundwork and footing for me to be attacked by disease. My oldest daughter of 21 now, was as I learned of on March 8th of this year..an addict. She was staggering through my home at 9am that day in high heels, her son in a car out front on the street running, and asking me "do kitty kattzes eats food an drinkks wa waturrr?"...WTF? Are you ok Cecilia?.. She looked, acted, and had as much composure as a person that had just drank a pint of whisky. The minute she left here, I was omw to the local police dept and that began a 2 1/2 month long journey from hell that was like hiking Mt. Everest barefoot with no coat on. I was in attack mode nonstop for that whole time, attackin my own child..to keep her alive. 2 weeks prior to this, the Dr. made note of how abnormally low her BP and pulse rate was in this morning visit. I figured out why, very, very quickly after the slobbering and staggering event here in front of her younger sister at age 16. She had a scrip for xanax to be taken as needed up to 3mg a day, in .5's. I also began to put together the fact that she was running out of this medication sometimes up to 13 days before the next refill but I somehow managed to get her the next one anyway as having the same Dr for 23 years, and also delivered her worked out well..for her. I quickly learned she was taking up to 6mg of xanax a day, and also going to a methadone clinic where she would take 120mgs of that shit and then drive back 33 miles with my Grandson in the back of the car. This mixture had been proven to be 3 times the amounts of these chemicals needed to cause her to never wake up again. It also explained the 6 traffic tickets as well now and the 2 blown tires, 1 of which was 1 month old. She too was also taking klonopin in her senior year to help her cope at school but that came with a price too. She was also taking too much of that at the time and went to the ATM and took out all of my money that I had put into her account. The problem was, she didnt remember doing it and filed an investigation at the bank to figure out who defrauded her account and my money. It was her as the ATM film showed. I took her to the police dept as an investigator had wished to speak with her about it but she wouldnt go. The detective filed no fraud charges against my daughter but this was only the beginning of the following 3 years of trainwrecks with her. I forced the Dr to pull ALL scrips and to flag her on databases throughout his furthest reach, and forced the methadone clinic to stop adminestering that shit too. I fought for nearly 3 months to get my Grandson away from her alone. Police, CPS, any way I could to try to save him because he wasnt even 2 yet and couldnt make his own decisions. She was being a complete idiot but I kept her alive and my Grandson too. She finally gave her son to his paternal Grandmother 1 month ago, so she could now hangout at local bars as she turned 21 in June. She also ended up in the ER 3 times after I pulled all addictive priveleges and went through nightmareish detox..her problem, not mine..my job was to keep her alive, not make her feel good. She lives 1 block away, and I've seen and spoken to her 1 time whereas she told me I'm not her Dad and that no Dad would attack their own child like I did..She may be right, but their child and Grandchild would be dead.

That being stated, new "history of substance abuser" member. You're going to be forced to experience some really sick and scary shit these next 8 days by your own doing, your own decisions, your own choices, your own hands. The ER wont do a damn thing for you either except watch you throw up and then keep feeding you through an IV. This is a learning experience for you, that you should learn from and never repeat again. You'll be the one that makes those decisions though..

As far as help goes? You better go get some doxylamine from the store before tomorrow ends as it will be the only possible way to help you make it out the other side of the trainwreck that you've created..

I do wish you the best, and also goodluck in your future too.

Enduronman.

[Unccmike49]

Thansk for the advice. I do have some Benadryl, maybe that'll help. I realize I have created a severe trainwreck, and the shame eats me alive. I'm just really scared, thats all.

[Enduronman]

Benedryl won't work friend, it must be doxylamine..Look it up on the Wiki and you'll understand why.


E-Man..

[Unccmike49]

I went and got some doxylamine tonight, and we'll see how that goes. I took 2 already. I did look it up on Wiki and you're right Endurnman, it stated that its more powerful than presciption hypnotics (I'm assuming by "hypnotics" that means stuff like Ambien and Sonata). Fortunately, I'm going to see a new doctor this coming Tuesday, who is problem one of the best in the field of addiction. I split the one last tablet as of today in half, so that'll give me 0.25 a day for two days. And we'll see how my appointment goes. I hope he can help me, and I'm planning on being completely honest with him and then listen to the options he recommends. There is the option to put me into an inpatient facility, as he knows of several around here. My only concern with this is that what if I get called for an interview this week?

Hopefully it's all in my head, and I have been sorta tapering off over the past few days...only one or two a day. I took 2 today, and tomorrow I'm only gonna take half of a 0.5mg, so hopefully it might not be as bad as I am worried about. Like I said, it may be all in my head, and I tend to worry about things WAY too much. And I realize that all this is my fault, because of stupid decisions, and I'll make sure to learn from this. Endurnman your advice has been well-received and I'll definately take it into consideration. I think this week I'll find some NA meetings to go to, and that I believe will help BIG TIME. Plus I'm gonna make a list of things to do to occupy my mind....I've got a book that I'm about halfway through, and probably hang out with a good friend of mine and/or catch a movie. Thanks a million for your feedback!

[Enduronman]

You won't be awake much longer!! HAHA!! Yes, doxylamine will get you through this period of time. It has been researched, studied, tested to be equally as strong as a barbituate sedative so you're going to live. That is what you had to do friend. Everything will work out ok, just don't put yourself or anyone that cares about you through what I had to see, deal with, learn about, attack..because that was the battle from Hell itself and it cost me dearly..

Live, learn, love, laugh..friends, books, and movies sound like great substitutes and tools to help you get through this whole ordeal..

Be resourceful, you're the only one you've really got bruh and you only get 1 shot at this so make it the best!

Goodluck to you!

E-Man..:)