Imagery of violence nad some ideas to defeat them

[Greatdane]

I feel relived that i am not alone in this disturbing thoughts that come out of no where and give you a bobly sensation or indid a panic attack? Let me describe mine One evening out of the blue while with my partner I had a panic attck and all of a sudden I had the image of a knife and that I was going to lose control and hurt my partner and got scared. When to the tolilet felt like i was going insane and nearly shitted my pants. my bowel whent lose like i was losing my inside. This of course was not a plan or a desire just a horrible thought of losing control. Since then when my anxiety is high I get flash back of that memory and I get a bodly sensation. And indiid had fear of being close to any potential object that may inflict harm mostly knives. I suppose the bottom line is fear of losing control doing something out of the normal or going insane. I am in therapy and talked about this with therapist and Psychiatrist and seems to be normal to have fear of losing control or hurting loved ones. However I only saw one post on this in the net and would like some reassurance from peole who suffer with anxiety and panic attacks rather that a book text answer. Please share info on how you may have dealt it it if you experienced it if it went away or whatever you may have to offer. Sharing makes as stronger. Never thought I will exerience something this disturbing. I am on 10mg of Citalopram for 2 months an my Panic attacks have subsides but my neomories of it is still there and sometimes this thoughts that enetered my mind out of nowhere still scares me. i cant hear anything about murder of violence on telle or news papers. this things are happening everyday. And for me is the fear of what people are capable of and of course i am a person too. This is the fear of the worse scenario in my life. This what anxiety can do. Sometimes my thoughts are very unrealistic to the point that they really become very scary. After reading some posts maybe i think i am OCD my grandmother is ODC and she checks everything around the house over and over and when i was a kid she used to make me do it.

I recently met an ex sufferer of panick attacks and anxiety and she said to me when you get disturbing thoughts write them down as if it was a story make a scenario and caracters try to be as inventive as possible and turn it into something funny or a commedy. Maybe try and like do a cartoon scenario where a knife bent or the stab make someone deflate rather that hurt. I have to say i have tryed and it does work it made me laugh and took it out of my head and took the fear and seriousness of the thought out. I will practice more. I suggest someone try and tell me if it works. Now the onter thing i then encountered is this if i make fun of this then mean i will not be scared of it so i will do it. Dont fall into that trap is a guilt trip that you should take serious your thoughts and if you dont then you may do it. Think about all this horror fiction story in so many books and movies everyday on tellevision someone out there i mean some houndred thousand peopleout there are inventing this stories and thinking about them without panicking or getting concerned. We are stuck in the fear of what we are most afraid of in life. That why it takes you in all the fear that are individuals. Mine is violence as i witness that alot when i was kid.

I hope you manged to read this long post. Sorry for the long writing but i hope this may help in some ways. Lets support eachother.

Greatdane

[V for Victor]

Hey greatdane, welcome to the forums!

Here are two other threads that may shed some light on what you're experiencing:

http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1218

http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1281

(whoops, I see you already found one of them! Good for you! :) )

They're both about obsessions with violence and going insane.

This is very common. I have OCD too, and I struggle with obsessions with violence.

Check out the book in my signature. It is very helpful for somebody with OCD.

[Greatdane]

thank you Victor for the welcome. I just bought a book on OCD and was relived to find also there material on violent thoughts. Actually last night i read a post on a guy who had exerience of thinking of drinking blood and see every object as a weapon. That was really good as i had this thoughts or fears i dont know what the hell they are!!!!!

The book is a guide on overcoming OCD so i will start immediately. I do so much at present Counselling, Group, Visualisation, Meditation. But little movmet.

Please share with me you violent thoughts be honest. I will be honest too and very grafic better out of my head that in i am begging to learn. If you want we can comm through e-mail.

GD

I read you whole post. I sounds pretty frustrating and scary. I'm not OCD and can't sat I experience the same exact things. I have violent fantasies, but often it is just about me raging (which I turn in on myself). In those cases, I fantasize and sometimes act out hurting myself.

[Bridgie]

Hi Great Dane, well you're the first one that I've read on this forum that is going through the same violent thoughts as me.

I went through this period a month or so ago where I wanted to kill my schnauzer. I have two dogs, but for some reason I was afraid I was going to hurt my schnauzer! I LOVE THIS DOG WITH ALL MY HEART! I don't know why this violent feeling was manifesting itself in just this one critter. No family members, not my other dog, no other beasts, just Lucky Dog! I was totally afraid to even be alone with her, and totally afraid I would do something to hurt her. If she came in the kitchen to get a snack and there was a knife on the counter, I would have to leave the room.

One day my husband left a sledge hammer on the kitchen counter, I picked it up and put it away in the closet because I just had this urge to smash Lucky with it.

This urge went away after about a month, but it scared me to death. But I think all humans have these violent human tendencies and it's probably a natural thing, but acting on it is something different. I haven't spoken to anybody about this until now, and a psychologist could probably explain it all.

I don't have any advice, except to say my urges went away on their own. Shit it's awful, isn't it?

:unsure:

[V for Victor]

Greatdane, that may have been my post you read about drinking blood and seeing everything as a weapon.

My violent obsessions have diminished some, and they're far easier to deal with now that I know that I'm not some kind of freak that is going to snap sooner or later. During the time that these thoughts were the worst, I was very, very depressed and angry, and I had just sort of resigned myself to them. I figured that I was a natural born killer, and that it was my nature to be this way. Because of that, I didn't really fight it anymore, and actually embraced it because I thought that's who I was. Fortunately, I turned out completely wrong. It's OCD.

You've probably found out by now how scary and depressing these thoughts can be. After so long, they really start to push you down, and wear you out.

Keep studying OCD!


BrooklynRider, do you have any anger issues that you're dealing with, or any other kind of real emotional pain that might be causing you to hurt yourself? I used to hurt myself too, sometimes with a pocketknife or screwdriver, etc. Anger can drive you to do lots of bad things, but you should always aspire to overcome it.