demack12001
09-27-2012, 12:33 PM
Hi Guys
To be honest I do not really know where to start, I'm Damien from Ireland 44 yr old guy and i am shocked at some of the peoples stories about anxiety its so sad that this thing has such an effect on so many people, my empathy is with all of you.
I Have been suffering with mental health problems since my teens, depression and anger seemed to be a couple of my traits and i always had a need in me to be wanted or to belong to something, attention seeking even, and i did certain things i guess to make sure i was noticed, Like weight training & steroids and other stuff i cannot mention for legal reasons but never the less i did these things.
I have always felt sad and down for as long as i can remember it was normal for me to feel this way, i used to have a saying( i wasn't happy until i was unhappy because this was my most comfortable place) anyhow the years went on and so did the illness it hounded me day in day out, but i just got through it the best way i could but not without a lot of heartache and pain.( Lost relationships & friendships) I had been to a few counsellors and spoke about my troubles for many years but none of them really helped although i gave them a lot of money.
I have my own business i started it in 2004 a 1 hr Photoshop ( printing photographs) and it has been one of the hardest things i have ever done i did it on a shoe string budget and built it up year after year always spending money to make the business better, now i have moved premises to a bigger building where
I have a photo studio on the first floor my photo lab on the ground floor and a bespoke framing service in the basement, never making money just spending it Lol!, I have been doing this while dealing with my mental health issues but now i have different kind of issues & symptoms some of which i could not understand,( Avoidance of doing certain duties, fear with responsibility,sweats,knots in my stomach the feeling of being useless,this had a drastic effect on me and the business, I hadn't a clue what was going on, this was destroying me i was blaming myself for all that was going on and i kept on calling myself a failure and a bad business person it shattered my self belief and confidence.The business has never really worked i have pumped money into the business to help it go forward and by adding the new services hoping that it would bring in more revenue, but then good Auld Ireland fell into a s**t hole of a recession and well lets say i have been hanging on with the skin of my teeth ever since, this in itself has only added to my already stressed self.
About four years ago i nearly gave up he ghost and i was not very far from the end of a rope but i managed to get to see a psychiatrist a truly nice guy, Allen was his name, he got me medicated very quickly and i was now in his care, we tried so many different Anti depressants over our four years together but none really worked so my life was hell, feeling sad and all kinds of stuff, this lasted until about six months ago when he had me transferred to see another psychiatrist and a new psychologist, and it was here where i was hit with the whammy that i had Dsthymia & Anxiety.
What was this i had no clue Dsthymia i could understand, but Anxiety! I had no clue at all,you could have knocked me off my feet.
Alex the name of the psychotherapist a true legend, told me i had classic Anxiety, but that i had it so bad that he did not think he could help me with exercises and CBT and that the answers could only come from me, which scared the s**t out of me.
I have been on most anti depressant known to medicine but none of them ever seemed to really work for me, I am on a 1000mg of Eplim chrono for my mood swings, 150 mg of Anafranil for my anti depressant, Risperdal 10mg for my anger and now the new one im on for Anxiety is 150mg of Lyrica which i started two weeks ago.
The reason why i am here guys is that i need to get well i have been living even wallowing in a depressed state for most of my life and now this Anxiety this has to stop and i need help, help from people who understand and have come out the other side.
Any advice, input opinions anything at all i would really appreciate I am so sorry for the long winded story but i thought a good back drop to my history would help,
Cheers
Damien
To be honest I do not really know where to start, I'm Damien from Ireland 44 yr old guy and i am shocked at some of the peoples stories about anxiety its so sad that this thing has such an effect on so many people, my empathy is with all of you.
I Have been suffering with mental health problems since my teens, depression and anger seemed to be a couple of my traits and i always had a need in me to be wanted or to belong to something, attention seeking even, and i did certain things i guess to make sure i was noticed, Like weight training & steroids and other stuff i cannot mention for legal reasons but never the less i did these things.
I have always felt sad and down for as long as i can remember it was normal for me to feel this way, i used to have a saying( i wasn't happy until i was unhappy because this was my most comfortable place) anyhow the years went on and so did the illness it hounded me day in day out, but i just got through it the best way i could but not without a lot of heartache and pain.( Lost relationships & friendships) I had been to a few counsellors and spoke about my troubles for many years but none of them really helped although i gave them a lot of money.
I have my own business i started it in 2004 a 1 hr Photoshop ( printing photographs) and it has been one of the hardest things i have ever done i did it on a shoe string budget and built it up year after year always spending money to make the business better, now i have moved premises to a bigger building where
I have a photo studio on the first floor my photo lab on the ground floor and a bespoke framing service in the basement, never making money just spending it Lol!, I have been doing this while dealing with my mental health issues but now i have different kind of issues & symptoms some of which i could not understand,( Avoidance of doing certain duties, fear with responsibility,sweats,knots in my stomach the feeling of being useless,this had a drastic effect on me and the business, I hadn't a clue what was going on, this was destroying me i was blaming myself for all that was going on and i kept on calling myself a failure and a bad business person it shattered my self belief and confidence.The business has never really worked i have pumped money into the business to help it go forward and by adding the new services hoping that it would bring in more revenue, but then good Auld Ireland fell into a s**t hole of a recession and well lets say i have been hanging on with the skin of my teeth ever since, this in itself has only added to my already stressed self.
About four years ago i nearly gave up he ghost and i was not very far from the end of a rope but i managed to get to see a psychiatrist a truly nice guy, Allen was his name, he got me medicated very quickly and i was now in his care, we tried so many different Anti depressants over our four years together but none really worked so my life was hell, feeling sad and all kinds of stuff, this lasted until about six months ago when he had me transferred to see another psychiatrist and a new psychologist, and it was here where i was hit with the whammy that i had Dsthymia & Anxiety.
What was this i had no clue Dsthymia i could understand, but Anxiety! I had no clue at all,you could have knocked me off my feet.
Alex the name of the psychotherapist a true legend, told me i had classic Anxiety, but that i had it so bad that he did not think he could help me with exercises and CBT and that the answers could only come from me, which scared the s**t out of me.
I have been on most anti depressant known to medicine but none of them ever seemed to really work for me, I am on a 1000mg of Eplim chrono for my mood swings, 150 mg of Anafranil for my anti depressant, Risperdal 10mg for my anger and now the new one im on for Anxiety is 150mg of Lyrica which i started two weeks ago.
The reason why i am here guys is that i need to get well i have been living even wallowing in a depressed state for most of my life and now this Anxiety this has to stop and i need help, help from people who understand and have come out the other side.
Any advice, input opinions anything at all i would really appreciate I am so sorry for the long winded story but i thought a good back drop to my history would help,
Cheers
Damien