Enduronman
09-26-2012, 10:35 AM
brothers and sisters,
I'm stuck in this freakin house yet again today but this time, because of weather and not crippleing pain or inability to even move on my own. I too have days whereas I feel like a broken man and they are frequent as I still learn to live with, and deal with, and cope with the fact that diseases caused by anxiety have literally wrecked and destroyed the life that I once knew. Other members have posted lately about working out, lifting, excercise. That WAS my life, or at least a huge part of what I recall as being my life. Hell I can just walk by the "sports supplement" section at the store now and get a full blown feeling of defeat. Some of the products in that isle, actually DO work as I tried them all over a 5 year period. I know what works, and what didnt work. Obviously, I can not lift weights anymore and that in itself is one of, if not the biggest hindrance or obstacle in my life and mind at the moment and has been since May. Everything I used to be able to do with great ease and enjoyment, was taken away in one single day. Anxiety is a bitch and it must be removed from what YOU call life asap before it wraps you up and envelopes you like a mummy. Just taking a walk downtown has become a huge project now but I still have (1) single thing left that drives me and forces me to continue to learn, acknowledge, accept, and understand the new meanings of my life. It sucks ass either way but its still early in this disease process too. I still refuse to take a medication that MAY CAUSE DEATH although some days I wonder what the real effects of that medication may actually be, especially when I've only worked for 4 hours and my body is sending me the "its time to get the f**k outta here now" signals because my brain wishes to accomplish more, acheive more, complete more..but I can't..It refuses me that right to proceed and continue to be successful...
Read, learn, research, understand, acknowledge, and accept why you are all here and maybe there's a chance you'll get out alive. I didn't..
I'm here to help..
Enduronman.
I'm stuck in this freakin house yet again today but this time, because of weather and not crippleing pain or inability to even move on my own. I too have days whereas I feel like a broken man and they are frequent as I still learn to live with, and deal with, and cope with the fact that diseases caused by anxiety have literally wrecked and destroyed the life that I once knew. Other members have posted lately about working out, lifting, excercise. That WAS my life, or at least a huge part of what I recall as being my life. Hell I can just walk by the "sports supplement" section at the store now and get a full blown feeling of defeat. Some of the products in that isle, actually DO work as I tried them all over a 5 year period. I know what works, and what didnt work. Obviously, I can not lift weights anymore and that in itself is one of, if not the biggest hindrance or obstacle in my life and mind at the moment and has been since May. Everything I used to be able to do with great ease and enjoyment, was taken away in one single day. Anxiety is a bitch and it must be removed from what YOU call life asap before it wraps you up and envelopes you like a mummy. Just taking a walk downtown has become a huge project now but I still have (1) single thing left that drives me and forces me to continue to learn, acknowledge, accept, and understand the new meanings of my life. It sucks ass either way but its still early in this disease process too. I still refuse to take a medication that MAY CAUSE DEATH although some days I wonder what the real effects of that medication may actually be, especially when I've only worked for 4 hours and my body is sending me the "its time to get the f**k outta here now" signals because my brain wishes to accomplish more, acheive more, complete more..but I can't..It refuses me that right to proceed and continue to be successful...
Read, learn, research, understand, acknowledge, and accept why you are all here and maybe there's a chance you'll get out alive. I didn't..
I'm here to help..
Enduronman.