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cafleming1987
09-21-2012, 09:47 AM
Hi everyone,

First off I am new here. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 12, but lately it has increased 10 fold. My partner and I have been together for almost 7 years, and I love him more than anything in this world. I was the main bread winner for the past 4 years while Jeff completed school. Now, the roles are reversed and he goes to work full time while I focus on finishing my master's and internship. I was completely fine being away from him while I was at work, but now that he is at work and I am at home...I feel extremely anxious. I am also an epileptic (recent diagnosis), so I am not able to drive at the moment. So, while he is at work I am completely trapped in the house.

During the week, I am a complete wreck. Dreading the alarm going off because I know he will be leaving for work. On the weekends, I am completely fine. Its obvious to me that I am having some sort of separation anxiety when I am away from him, and I know that I should be ok when he is gone. He doesn't work out of town or anything, and I realize that I probably come off as selfish when allot of spouses are deployed or working out of town on a regular basis. I have an appointment with a therapist next week, but I am going out of my mind waiting for it. I am thrilled that Jeff is being so supportive about my education, and he doesn't want me running myself ragged. I have a wonderful partner, and I realize that it would put allot of stress on him to see me like this. I've done a good job of hiding the anxiety so far, but of course that makes me feel worse trying to put on a brave face day after day. I should clarify that on the days I have my internship, there is no anxiety at all. It is when I am at home that I go out of my mind. I am hoping that someone may be able to give me some advice on how to handle this. I've considered walks, but the heat is too much on me right now. Thank you in advance for any advice.

jhunter89
09-21-2012, 09:58 AM
I don't have any good advice but you are not alone. I'm the same! lol

cafleming1987
09-21-2012, 10:02 AM
Well glad to hear I am not alone :)

lsapphirel
09-21-2012, 10:28 AM
im guilty of it too lol. even to the point where, i wont let him sleep before i do.

jhunter89
09-21-2012, 11:04 AM
im guilty of it too lol. even to the point where, i wont let him sleep before i do.

I'm. The opposite lol! I can't sleep unless he is. Idk why maybe I'm scared he's going to leave in the night lmao.

lsapphirel
09-21-2012, 11:31 AM
I'm. The opposite lol! I can't sleep unless he is. Idk why maybe I'm scared he's going to leave in the night lmao.

Lmao. we have serious issues. i need a fix to this. if it aint for the underground train to reach his workplace(i dont drive and i dont think i could handle the underground train), id have hang out near his workplace everyday waiting for him to knock off i think. lol

jhunter89
09-21-2012, 11:34 AM
Lmao. we have serious issues. i need a fix to this. if it aint for the underground train to reach his workplace(i dont drive and i dont think i could handle the underground train), id have hang near his workplace everyday waiting for him to come home i think. lol

Haha I'd like to do that too but I have to got to work also. But if i dont hear from him at all during the day via text when we're apart I freak out! It's ridiculous.

lsapphirel
09-21-2012, 11:41 AM
SAME! i get super anxious if i dont hear from him. not in a clingy way just i cant stop myself from thinking, what happened, blah blah blah. And boom my legs starts shaking. i hate it most when its almost full blown, 80% PA, my legs goes jelly on me, i cant walk.. its just crazy. lol

jhunter89
09-21-2012, 11:59 AM
What are we like :) lol

lsapphirel
09-21-2012, 12:39 PM
hopefully someone can give some advice on this lol.

trinidiva
09-21-2012, 05:45 PM
I used to be this way quite a bit with my husband too, he's a firefighter, so he is usually gone a full 24 hrs sometimes....I've just been forced to get used to it, because he has to go to work.....

Mrspbnj0220
09-21-2012, 08:11 PM
You aren't alone at all. I have worked since I was 15 and I'm 28 now and just last year I left my job to stay home with my son. When I would wake up and realize he wasn't in bed I couldnt' get back to sleep because I swore I kept hearing things in the house and would constantly check the door knob to see if it was locked (I have him lock the room before he leaves). Now he started a second job where he works 1-3 nights a week, and doesn't get home until after dark, I don't go out in the dark so I'm stuck. I wish I had some advice, but I really don't. Taking showers when he isn't here is lame, I have to balance a one year old and taking showers where I am so paranoid I get shampoo in my eyes all the time because I swear somehow someone unlocked the bathroom and is coming to reinact the movie "Psycho".

Wish things were different for all of us. Hopefully someone has some golden advice to offer. It really is nice to have people to talk to though.

inzombiac
09-21-2012, 08:53 PM
You need to get yourself a hobby. I play video games online. It helps lol but you are soooo not alone. Being an army spouse I deal with this crap all too often and sometimes for a year at a time if not more. It really does help to have hobbies and friends and family. Don't put all your eggs in one basket so to speak. As much as you want to be all about that person this is when having even just one close friend can help. :)

jhunter89
09-22-2012, 12:19 AM
And when he leaves for work in a bad mood (Like today) it makes it worse :(

kzac
09-22-2012, 02:29 PM
Hiya not got much time at the mo but i would def tell him how your feeling bottling it up wont help!! Perhaps he could ring u in the day check in! The only real advice i got is to talk it thru!! Xx

laurandisorder
09-24-2012, 07:30 AM
I know that googling symptoms is the WORST advice I can give, but have you done any research on co-dependency?

It does sound like your main problem is the separation anxiety, but as bad as this sounds (and I may be transferring my own issues here), but you shouldn't need another person to make you feel whole/safe.

I'm probably just shoving my own issue onto you guys, but something may be off balance if you are feeling like this when your partner/s are away from you. Check out CODA (Co-Dependents Anon) as a resource and see if you fit the bill.

Otherwise I would recommend some serious CBT to help you cope whilst you're alone. There is a reason why you struggle and it isn't just because your partner is away from you.