alone

[purpleblaze]

hey all, this is my first post so be gentle! i have social phobia, depression and for the past year agoraphobia. im 32 and have no friends! i mean how sad does that sound?! i cant speak to anyone, even family cos im afraid of what they are thinking about me. i feel so alone. i have no purpose in life. is anybody else going through this?

[jdubb4045]

I am not quite at that point, but I can relate to some of what you are saying. I will tell you this though. You do have a purpose in life. You just have to figure out what it is, but you will. You are just in a bad cycle right now, but I can assure you that it is possible to get out of it. You need to take little steps to get out of it. Just get out and do something small every day and before you know it, you will be able to do many other things that you never thought you could. Anxiety loves avoidence and the more you avoid things, the stronger it will take hold of you. Good luck!!

[owl]

I have the same problem. I often care way too much what others think of me.

After a while I began to realize that caring so much was costing me a lot, mentally. Thinking about what others think of you takes a lot of energy out of you. It can make you feel lethargic. One way I try to control it is by directing my brainpower to something else.

Usually when I have these thoughts, I am on my own, walking or something. When I'm outside walking, I look at the houses that I pass and determine three ways that one house is different from the next. This can exhaust your brain quickly and make you think of mindless things, which is a pleasant relief actually. When I'm not walking, what I do is think about math. It's usually very simple subtraction, but if you change it up then it can tire your brain out. What I do is pick a starting number, for example 750, and choose a starting subtracting number, for example 14. I subtract 14 several times until it becomes easy. Then I change the subtracting number.

While this method has proven to be very effective for me, it takes a lot of discipline to force your mind to pick one thought over another. Keep trying and don't be discouraged.

Hope you can get a better handle on things! Good luck.

[ananxiousgirl]

Are you sure it's not autism?