Why can't I just be a good person?

[faded84]

I've been having suicidal thoughts recently and feel like I'm never going to be happy with my life.

I'm working a dead end job, my husband seems to not be interested in sex. I'm fat and ugly and often get ignored by friends unless they're "bored".

I just don't get why my brain decides to do the opposite of what I want. I'm not smart enough to get a better job, better husband, get off the couch and work out.

I just want to crawl under a rock and be done with it all!

[littlelightning]

I'm very sorry that you are having those feelings. I know it is hard. Let me ask you something - do you know what makes you feel happy? Literally, what gives you joy? Those are the things you should start with. Then try to build on those things. Thoughts of suicide don't necessarily mean you want it. It is just the anxiety messing with your thoughts. There is goodness in your heart and happiness to be found.

[Demon Cleaner]

Perspective is a powerful tool. First let's start with the job personally I lost mine two months ago and it was what I considered a dead end job. But I wouldn't mind having that dead end job back. Some people live to work others work so they can enjoy life. If you can find something outside of work to do that makes you happy the hours at work will be more tolerable. We all can't be CEOs the truth is most people hate their jobs. Looks are fleeting everyone of us gets a little older and less attractive by the day. You should workout but workout for your health physical and mental don't consume yourself with societies unrealistic ideals of attractiveness. We are all attractive in our own unique ways. It sounds like you're in a slump my advice would be to take a few days maybe a week and dedicate them to yourself. Do something you'd like to do but have always put off. Maybe a vacation alone my best trips have been by myself that way I can do what I want no group pressure. Or maybe something simple like go to a spa, nails done, etc I don't know do something for you and no one else. Breakout of your slump or crawl under a rock it's really your choice. Screw your friends people don't call because the majority of people are too self absorbed to think about anyone else that's not a reflection of you that's a reflection of them. I go out alone and do things alone all the time it's like a mini adventure. You don't need a group of people to enjoy yourself all you need is an open mind. Sit down and write a couple things down ud like to do and go with it. And try not to be so self conscious cuz like I said no one is paying attention to anyone but themselves. Keep your head up
Demon

[MainerMikeBrown]

Faded84, try not to emotionally hurt yourself with negative beliefs like the ones that you shared. The thing is that if all you see is negative aspects about yourself, then you are not being fair to yourself.

[n1ck13]

All this advice to be positive probably didn't make you feel any better, because sometimes you can't help how you feel and I know that my depression comes in waves, you take the good days with the bad, and clearly your having a bad time right now. I know people have good intentions when they offer their advice (and its great advice dont get me wrong) but If you ever need to just vent without anyone making you feel bad for it or try to tell you otherwise, just send me a private message. No offense to anyone else because I truly appreciate it when I get advice I just know sometimes I need someone to agree with me and just listen rather than try to change my outlook, sometimes we just need to feel sad before we can say enough, I'm ready to smile now! Weird, I know :P