Anxiety attacks are ruining my life!

[redgem]

Only just been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but suffered severe depression for many years. For the last 5yrs I've just about managed to cope but recently I'm finding it really hard, thinking and believing everything bad is about to happen to me, usually at daft o'clock in the morning when no one is there to help, I am in the process of getting referred for cbt but does anyone know what I can do in the meantime because I'm afraid of what I might do when it gets as bad as it does... Last night for example and now I'm petrified of tonight coming because I know it's going to happen again :(

[lsapphirel]

HI,

I am new too to anxiety. i have not much advice because i am still struggling, but there are sticky thingy that you might wanna read, it is very helpful. i learnt alot from there. That might get you started. and please, do not push yourself in seeking answers. no googling for now, just stay here and read. and im sure later, there will be a senior member to come and help you.

Sorry i cant be of more help, if it helps, im actually having a 50% PA as i type this. and this is part of my way to ease the anxiety, a little walk is good too. a drink of ice cold water, breathing and engage in the moment helps too, or play games, just stop focusing on it the symptoms and do something. :)

[redgem]

Do you think it's a good idea to start any kind of medication for this or are you on any, if so does it help? My doctor suggested going on something but wanted to try and avoid being drugged up as I didnt exactly find anti-depressants to be good with the side effects and I've got a little girl so need to be on the ball as much as I can which is hard when I'm getting only 2-3hrs sleep each night.

[lsapphirel]

Some really need meds, some dont, and freakish human like me, i hate meds, since young, honestly, anything bigger than lorazepam 0.5mg, id puke it all out. i have issues swallowing my pills.

Here is how i started, I went to the Psychiatrist, and he gave me fluvoxamine maleate 50mg(to be taken every night) and lorazepam 0.5mg(as and when needed once in the morning and once at night)

2-3 days after he gave me fluvoxamine, i decided, im gonna try it, but i cant swallow a big pill, so i cut it into half, i took half and dint wanna take another half. I felt great within the first hour of taking it, then it starts, my throat went dry, and my PA went to 85% i took lorazepam and slept through 10 hours.

I was introduced to a Psychologist and decided to go for a weekly session with no medications. (reason being, i went through a rough ride for almost a month not knowing what i should do, and what im facing, its that long for the Psychiatrist to finally see me, and meds make me feel horrible, if i have to go through that just to feel better, than i can go through normal with no meds) this being said is from my stubborness and my unwillingness to eat my meds. no judging.

I understand the kids part, i have 3 kids myself, 10yrs, 8yrs, 5yrs. I used to have sleepless nights and sleep as and when in the day. Try to grab as much sleep as you can, maybe sleep when your little one is sleeping. It is very important to get enough rest.

See your doc, and see what he says, and see how you can cope. CBT is good, it helps you with the breathing, and lots of other positivity. I mostly visit the Docs cause i dont have much support here, im just dealing with it alone, that leads me to seeing the docs for like 3-4 times a week.

At least i have someone who listens and knows about anxiety. That also leads me to feel safe in hospitals and clinics.

It makes a difference when someone listens, and it really makes me feel better.(real life support i meant)

I used to be a really happy go lucky person, until the PA strikes, now i have PD, I got really depressed. But things changed when i found this forum, i had so much info from here, to the point where im way ahead of my CBT sessions. There is another forum too, some of the people that replied to my post are very friendly. But honestly, here is where i got my answers, alot of it. the sticky thingy mostly have the info you need.

But im still struggling, ive gone into my 3rd week with no lorazepam at all. manage to ease the PA just by doing stuffs.

Hope the little info helps!

[redgem]

God you sound just like me, I can't take pills either. I just about manage with coated pain killers and that's it otherwise I just heave off them so choose not to take anything else. The feeling of being knocked out by medication scares me cos I had a pretty rough time on anti-depressants and actually made my depression worse. I've managed all this time without pills but it's got to the point where I'm self harming to stop me from feeling so frightened. Like you, I have no support from anyone. My partner doesn't understand any of this and has been quite insensitive about it if I'm honest and he works abroad majority of the time so there isn't anyone I can turn to for support especially at night when I'm at my worst. I worry that my daughter is going to be affected by my anxieties as she has developed bad phobias already and she's only six. I have moments where I think she's better off without me and I'm better off without me rather than enduring this torture that I go through everyday. I will definitely look at the info you mentioned because I've had cbt sessions before and didn't really get a lot out of it but back then I wasn't really suffering with anxiety attacks like I am now so who knows, it might.
I feel better for knowing there are other people feeling exactly the same as I do and I'm not going crazy like I thought.

[lsapphirel]

You are definitely not going crazy, its just too sudden, too shocking and difficult to come to terms with.

1 thing you have to bear in mind though, your child will NOT be better off without you. A life without a mother is not an easy life to live. I am an abandoned child, i know how it is not to have parents.

I have the same worries as you, it is said that PA are passed down from generations, this thought itself has made me stronger to achieve a list of things i have done, since my first PA. In case, it happens to my kids, i will at least be there to support them, and have all the list they could try and ease their anxiety.

My husband, at first do not understand at all what is happening, he thinks its all in my head and i will get over it. At first, i kept feeling sorry for myself, because no one is here for me. there were days when i really am sad the whole day and my tears wouldnt stop running down my cheeks.

It takes me so much courage to finally tell myself, i cant make him or anyone understand because they cant. reading about it and actually going through it is different. And i tell myself, i need to find a way to lessen this, not add on to my torture. i gave up on trying to get him to be there for me. i went to so many doctors since, only to slowly realized, im not here to have my ECG done or test done, im here needing someone to listen.

Here is what changed in my life since my PA.

I no longer smoke, i no longer drink coffee like maybe 2-3 teapots, i watch my diet, food that triggers for now that is, i will stay away from them, till im ready for a fight with PA, i dont watch movies that will leave an impact to me, horror, death, no news that is shocking and can keep my mind wandering, no situations that will make me feel trap, esp people that loves to guilt trip and talk shit. when people says im crazy, i tell them better off far from me, i might kill when my crazy is kicks in. lol

Walking, is my most effective way of calming myself down. It is my personal own time, i need it everyday. By walking, it has also help me with some fears.

I love to bring the kids to the library too, esp when you need space and kids are around. why the library? my kids are very very hyper active, and for some reasons, in the library, they stopped and read in silence, search for books in silence. and so i could have that moment in peace, without having to feel agitated and to deal with their quarrels.

I too have a tiny diary i carry with me, i wrote about what i ate, what i do, what is around whats happening, and when my panic strikes, the first thing i do is walk, and write . that helps me recognized the triggers, be it food or anything, so i keep away from them till i have the courage to try whatever the trigger is again. start small but frequent. thats all i remind myself.

[redgem]

I've heard someone else mention about diet and lifestyle which until now hadn't given it any thought as to how that could effect my anxiety levels, I smoke... Heavily now, I may add and a drink quite a bit of caffeine. Not so much now but I suppose it's still too much as it has other physical effects on me that I'm being treated for. So kind of not sure how anxiety is made worse by this. Smoking and drinking coca cola is the only bit of pleasure I have throughout the day at the moment.
I took my daughter to school this morning and felt so restless and agitated that I went for a long walk, mainly to get out of my house because its becoming the place where all my bad feelings seem to occur and I have nothing but dread having to come back to it on an afternoon.
I have to say, I did feel better for going out walking, although I didn't want to come back, I also tried some relaxation technique apps, they all work at the time but it all goes out the window as soon as night time comes :(

[redgem]

Thats a good idea with the note taking though, I started writing down how I felt last week to go through with my doctor so I didn't leave anything out and it ended up going on from there and it's interesting to see afterwards when you have calmed down that it's as bad as it sounds.
What kind of physical symptoms do you get when your having a panic attack? I've read a little on the stickies but wanted a more detailed explanation as I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is a symptom or not.

[lsapphirel]

Hi!!

Keeping a diet and a healthy lifestyle to me is just another worry of my list. It definitely helps me in regaining my confidence when PA comes knocking.

Dont worry about the agitated walking part, it will soon be a habit. And soon, you will enjoy your walks. you will see things around you which you would never pay attention to before.

I have issues with being at home too, my issues is fear of being left alone. I am still trying to overcome this, ive started to actually be at home, but its still not comfortable. but i know slowly, i will overcome it.

Find positive thoughts and think of them as much as you think of your negative thoughts, it helps your way of thinking too.

I learnt this because of my morning walks. i didnt and have never noticed how beautiful and fresh it is in the mornings. If i hadnt had my PA, id either be rushing to work grumbling at the crowds in the station, or id be asleep because i have insomnia.

Symptoms wise, breathless, whole body numbness, pain on thigh, chest pain and pressure, head pressure, floaty feeling, buzzing ears, pain on my nose bridge, palps, and lots more, new symptoms id say every week or so.

I am not saying im an expert on this, but these are my learning notes. trust me, im still struggling.

[aforce]

you are in vicious circles ...once it will be over you will regain strenght ....do CBT and deep relaxation thats the way to come up ...