Socially acceptable?

[annalea(:]

Do you ever get the feeling your totally on your own in a social situation, even though your surrounded by people chatting away but you feel like you in another world, or like your invisible to everyone else?
Ive always been shy, i really do try and talk to new people but i always feel like I'm treading on egg shells with them! Maybe its just my anxiety telling me I've said something really rude but sometimes when i compliment people they look at me like I've told them to go die.
I said to an old friend i hadn't seen in a while and said i had forgotten how tall she was and she took offence :S I'm quite short but shes average height for a woman, so its not like she is a giant, i always used to say id love to be as tall as her.

So, In most social situations, i don't tend to speak much anymore and i used to be a serious chatter box!
I actually feel myself have effects of a panic attack when i have to speak to someone new because I'm so scared i will offend them in someway.

Ive recently started a new college and I've made friends with a few people in the class, but theres a group that all know each other and they accepted me into the group, but i kind of feel like some of the girls in the group, really dislike me :/ Its a beauty course with 16/17 year olds and I'm a bit older than them, so i feel really embarrassed that I'm the oldest in the class and i don't have a good friendship in there with anyone! There all still living the bitchy high school days and I've been to college for two years before so I've grown up a hell of a lot!
On top of that, i don't feel i have very much in common with them but that might just be because i haven't spoken to them much.

Its so embarrassing Having effects of a panic attack in class (heavy breathing, fidgeting, actually starting to cry and trying to hold back tears, not making eye contact and always staring at the door incase i need to leave quickly) i always want to grab my Rescue Remedy spray but I'm too scared someone with look at me oddly or question me what I'm doing.

I need to talk to my tutor about my counselling appointments because they clash with my time table but i am so scared to explain to her, i don't want to cry in front of her. I really don't know what to do.

I just want to know if there is any tips for people who are shy :/
Im really interested in my course and i don't want to dread it every single day because I'm on my own!
I just feel embarrassed and ashamed!

AnnaLea

[Enduronman]

Tip for a person who's shy:
1. Don't place high expectations on yourself to perform at the same level everyone else is, they know each other and you're "new" persay. Just listen, look at them even if you're not interested, and be yourself..Watch, listen, learn, what their interest are..then begin to become part of the group.
2. Stop predicting that a panic attack is emminent just because someone is speaking to you, in this instance or from what I see here, you're ordering them to take place before you even know whats going on or is going to be spoken about.
3. Don't feel embarassed by the fact that you're older then they are and its OK to use that excuse if one of them ever says "like, fer sure..ya dont ever talk to us dont you like us?".. This is where your maturity comes into play as you just explain to whoever that you're trying to figure out what interest them and yer abit older but yes you really like them all!
4. The first thing I would do for both of my daughters was notify the staff and all teachers of the conditions and disorders of my girls. Believe or not, the teachers then knew certain boundaries not to cross and the staff was always very helpful too. In fact, the Principal said if they ever needed to just get away then they could have his friggin conference room, with bigscreen TV, and he said bring some friends if you wish too..
5. NO reason to feel embarassed about our disorders nor any reason to be ashamed of them either.

Words from an OLD A** ANXIETY VETERAN..The more "open" you are about it rather then spending every breathing second trying to "conceal" it, the better off you will be, and feel.. HONESTLY!

If I have to go to something that makes me uncomfortable, I will arrive, sit down with how many ever people I dont even know..and say : Hey, if you see me suddenly leave the room then its because I have a panic disorder and not because I dont wanna be here with you all. It's just a condition of the mind that the Dr's are still trying to figure out. Then, everyone forgets what I just said and gets down to business..

jus sayin...

Enduronman..:)